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Help me decide !!

  • Ladybelle
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08 Feb 08 #13311 by Ladybelle
Topic started by Ladybelle
After a good sol visit yesterday I am more or less sure I will go ahead and start proceedings, but I am unsure how to proceed.
Shall I just let the sol write to him as he suggested, or shall I write myself ? I have written out a letter detailing everything, and stating that what we can agree between us will save us money - but is it better to let the sol send the first letter or not ? But I am so scared of the money.
I am also TERRIFIED of doing it, I am afraid I will lose and I will end up homeless in 6 months rather than 2 years ....
I dont know what to do :(
Incidentally - if I do go ahead and file - how long does a divorce take ?

  • citygirllost
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08 Feb 08 #13313 by citygirllost
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  • attilladahun
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08 Feb 08 #13316 by attilladahun
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I would let the solicitor write

Petition to D/A if no delays 6 months

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08 Feb 08 #13317 by Ladybelle
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We dont talk at all. He has sent 2 emails since he left in October. The second is the one where he said he was cutting the money and would need the equity from the house. It was this that spurred me into getting further advice as I cannot lose the house and felt if that was the way he was going to go and want the house sold, rather than living in limbo for 2 years and wait for him to divorce me, maybe I should just get on with it and divorce him now.
No I dont think he has any CLUE this will happen now. I think he thinks I will stay here meekly until he divorces me but he cant do that for 2 years. I am terrified of it all. Since I posted t hat earlier I have been reading all through the process and it freaked me out !!!
I could never cope with all that alone, but I am scared of Sol costs.
I have written this letter which I just dont know whether to send or not. Or whether to even do anything.
We have grown children but they live at home and will do for some considerable time.
Do you regret using a sol because it cost so much money ? My other problem is my agoraphobia and inability to go anywhere so need so much help and guidance. I am not even sure I can physically get to my local county court !! :(

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08 Feb 08 #13319 by Ladybelle
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attilladahun wrote:

I would let the solicitor write

Petition to D/A if no delays 6 months


oh thanks Atilla, I think gut feeling is to let him do it, as he will have no idea it's coming, nor would he if I sent one either. But what the Sol said was he would write to say I had engaged him and it was my intention to file for divorce for his adultery and would he provide details of his means ? At that point my soon 2bx would in all likelihood contact me maybe at which point I could send the letter then ?
The Sol didnt actually mention filing yet, just that he suggested writing this letter ?
I just am so scared :(I cant decide :(

  • Fiona
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08 Feb 08 #13325 by Fiona
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Please go for it. I don't think I could cope with the virtual handwringing if you don't. ;)

Trust me you will feel better doing something. :cheer:

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09 Feb 08 #13331 by Elle
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Annie,I agree with Fiona, plus do you want to take control or be reactive...
Elle

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