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Can he do this?

  • in_shock
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14 Jul 07 #1350 by in_shock
Topic started by in_shock
my husband is having an affair and has asked for a divorce. He has investigated it and found the only grounds that can be used are adultery. Because he cannot accuse me of it he has apparently made an on-line application in my name and paid £175.00 or so to get the ball rolling. At this stage I don't want a divorce. Can he continue without my consent?

  • Princess Fiona
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14 Jul 07 #1351 by Princess Fiona
Reply from Princess Fiona
He can't continue without your consent, however, there isn't much point in not giving it. When one party doesn't want to be married any more the marriage is effectively over and not agreeing/defending a divorce only serves to prolong the agony, and may cost ten of thousands or more in legal fees.

If you file it gives a slight advantage in that you have more control over the timing. On the other hand, if you don't file he probably will citing unreasonable behaviour. In England and Wales there is no strong burden of proof required so he can use something like you read too much and neglect your relationship or you are annoying because you snore loudly.:)

Another point is if you don't divorce and settle the finances he might just apply to have his share of equity in the former marital home under property legislation as opposed to family law which could leave you at disadvantaged.

It sucks, particularly as emotionally you are likely to be less prepared and need some time to get used to the idea.:(

  • maggie
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14 Jul 07 #1354 by maggie
Reply from maggie
"he might just apply to have his share of equity in the former marital home under property legislation as opposed to family law ."
That sounds scary - please could you explain it a bit further ?

  • Louise11
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16 Jul 07 #1368 by Louise11
Reply from Louise11

Its against the law to falsify any documents, I doubt he will get very far and if he does? And you havent signed anything? Then get him arrested for fraud!
It depends how far you want to go with things really. When one person wants a divorce there really isnt anything the other person can do, he can divorce you on daft grounds, which is what makes this law an ass!

I wish you well

Kind regards

  • Princess Fiona
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16 Jul 07 #1371 by Princess Fiona
Reply from Princess Fiona
maggie, if no one applies for divorce the court can't make an order to settle the finances so occasionally an application under property law is made to have the house sold. Under this legislation, the owner is the person named on the deeds and, unless the deeds state otherwise, it is assumed joint owners own 50% each and no account is made of the spouses financial responsibility to each other, family needs etc. Normally, I believe, when such an application is made it puts pressure on the other party to apply for divorce and settle the finances because the rules governing divorce have precedent.

  • LittleMrMike
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16 Jul 07 #1384 by LittleMrMike
Reply from LittleMrMike

I must confess, I've never heard of anyone petitioning for divorce under someone else's name. I am rather with Louise on this - you are not allowed to petition for divorce on the grounds of your own adultery and this is just a barefaced and shameless way to get round it.

As Fiona rightly says, unfortunately, all your husband needs to do is to petition on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour, and if he does, it's hardly worth defending such a petition because the fact of the matter is that it takes two to make a marriage work.

You do not mention whether you have children. If you do, then Schedule 1 of the Children Act 1989 may be useful to you if your husband resorts to guerilla tactics ; the section reads ( amongst other things )

1.—(1) On an application made by a parent or guardian of a child, or by any person in whose favour a residence order is in force with respect to a child, the court may—

(a) in the case of an application to the High Court or a county court, make one or more of the orders mentioned in sub-paragraph (2);

(b) in the case of an application to a magistrates' court, make one or both of the orders mentioned in paragraphs (a) and (c) of that sub-paragraph.

(2) The orders referred to in sub-paragraph (1) are—

(e) an order requiring either or both parents of a child—

(i) to transfer to the applicant, for the benefit of the child; or
(ii) to transfer to the child himself,
such property to which the parent is, or the parents are, entitled (either in possession or in reversion) as may be specified in the order.

Just keep it available for future reference ; it might come in useful.


  • Shelia
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17 Jul 07 #1418 by Shelia
Reply from Shelia
Perhaps its time you saw a solicitor and got some advice. I know its painful and you may be don't want to face it, but it will give you some control instead of your husband running events to his liking and sitting worrying.

It does seem arrogant of him to start divorce proceedings in your name. You could take over what he started with the online proceedings, but it sounds to me like you might not feel up to it.

I would get some legal advice if I was you.


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