Please help

Hi

Thanks for your helpful advice. I contacted the court today after the respondents sister phoned me and told me that he'd told her that he was not going to give me a divorce as he objecting to me citing unreasonable behaviour, he said to her that i ought to have cited adultery and because I did not he was not going to let me have a divorce as he thought it showed him in a bad light. As I doubt very much whether he phrased his applicvation that way before the judge I contacted the court. I had already sent an email to Judge Dudley on receiving the order from court i mentioned in my post. The court staff kindly located the file and advised that he was defintely defending but were unable to state on what grounds or give any further information as what was stated by the respondent to the judge was not recorded on file. I mentioned that I'd had no notice that the respondent was intending to object but the lady stated that he had just turned up and the judge had agreed to hear him. I did mention that the notification of nisi had indicated that the court had ordered to pay costs and enquired as to whether he had objected to costs but she said no this was not him objecting to costs he turned up to seek leave to defend. I find it particularly distressing that he has been allowed to obstruct progress of the divorce in this way and feel that he is seeking leave of the court unecessarily to indulge his own malice. I consider the prime reason he wanted me to petition under adultery grounds was due to the fact that had I done so naming the other woman she then would have been entitled to take part in the proceedings. The court office said that I can if I consider I want to do so pay £80 applying to the court to have the order set aside and state reasons suggesting one being as you mentioned that it was unfair as I had not been informed and therefore lost my opportunity to be heard on the point. As he had ample opportunity to file a full response at an earlier stage and opted not to it seems grossly unfair. The court office told me that I can wait to see if he files an answer and if does attend any hearing listed to state case, or if he does not file, they told me then a date for the nisi ,would be relisted which i would receive notice of through the post. I really feel I ought to object to the application but am concerned that in doing so that (1) more court time is taken up (2) that it is almost tantamount to being drawn into the same trite form of mindgames the respondent seems intent on playing. I did engage a solicitor prior to nisi pronouncement date with limited instructions that a letter could be drafted inviting him to commence negotiation as regards settlement. Of course, now that is all up in the air and cannot proceed. Now that solicitor is away on holiday leaving a legal executive in the office and will not be return until 28th Feb which is after date of (25th) when the respondent has to file an answer. Without knowing what the precise terms of his representations to the judge at that nisi hearing I find myself somewhat in the dark. It seems rather unfair - as I say I have retained evidence some documentary ( abusive email he sent to my sister) threatening texts to me plus our son has made it known that he is prepared to sign a statement confirming contents within that petition, thats quite apart from the fact that he is currently engaging in an adulterous relationship in the marital home, and since our marriage has been frequenting internet dating sites ( again I captured screenshot of that along with photo he uploaded to it) I could file D11 if I acted quickly citing fact that I received no notice and provide reasons to ground why I seek courts discretion to overturn the application but wonder whether it may prove fruitless since even if it were overturned could he then return to bite at the same cherry and oppose any new nisi at next hearing date?

Or would it mean the nisi would be back on track without the prospect of him disrupting it any further?

Beelie