A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.

A little light hearted relief

  • Dockley
  • Dockley's Avatar Posted by
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
17 Jul 07 #1417 by Dockley
Topic started by Dockley
Seeing as quotes and extracts of other peoples work seems to be the order of the day, I thought the following may bring a little chuckle to us all,

We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality :(

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. :kiss:

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.:cheer:

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then :side:

Before marriage, a man will lay down his life for you; after marriage he won't even lay down his newspaper :P

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. :lol:

I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he'd be dead within a year. :silly:

When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one. ;)

  • Shelia
  • Shelia's Avatar
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
17 Jul 07 #1420 by Shelia
Reply from Shelia
Nice one Dockley

If I ever married again I want a sane healthy man who does not snore or have smelly feet, or smoke, only drinks in moderation and can cook. Own teeth, not bothered about hair, has a smile that lights up his face and thinks I'm gorgeous!

Think I'll be single forever:)


  • Princess Fiona
  • Princess Fiona's Avatar
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
18 Jul 07 #1441 by Princess Fiona
Reply from Princess Fiona
I was reading the Baby Barista blog yesterday and he was recounting the time his client was chewing gum in court. They were both somewhat bemused when the judge roared there would be no masticating in his court!

  • Sera
  • Sera's Avatar
  • User is blocked
  • User is blocked
28 Jul 07 #1624 by Sera
Reply from Sera

> Before the marriage:
> He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
> She: Do you want me to leave?
> He: NO! Don’t even think about it.
> She: Do you love me?
> He: Of course!
> She: Have you ever cheated on me?
> He: NO! Why are you even asking?
> She: Will you kiss me?
> He: Yes!
> She: Will you hit me?
> He: No way! I’m not that type of guy !
> She: Can I trust you?
> Now after the marriage you can read it - from bottom to the top !!!!:silly:

  • DandyHighwayMan
  • DandyHighwayMan's Avatar
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
31 Aug 07 #2680 by DandyHighwayMan
Reply from DandyHighwayMan
Doctors and scientists at a leading research university have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering for years after it has been eaten.

Its called f*****g Wedding Cake! :laugh::laugh::laugh:

  • Fiona
  • Fiona's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
31 Aug 07 #2682 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona

  • jay160602
  • jay160602's Avatar
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
31 Aug 07 #2691 by jay160602
Reply from jay160602
"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."


Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11

The modern, convenient and affordable way to divorce.

No-Fault Divorce £179

We provide the UK's lowest cost no-fault divorce service, managed by a well respected firm of solicitors. 

Online Mediation £250

Online mediation is a convenient and inexpensive way to agree on a fair financial settlement.

Consent Order £259

This legally binding agreement defines how assets (e.g. properties and pensions) are to be divided.

Court Support £250

Support for people who have to go to court to get a fair divorce financial settlement without a solicitor.