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Advice needed please

  • TJC
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21 Feb 08 #14585 by TJC
Topic started by TJC

Brand new here, and just want some advice please.

A friend of mine (cliche I know lol) has recently left his wife. Hard decision, they were together for 13 years, married 7, have son of 10 but basically drifting and staying together for son's benefit for last few years.

Both loved and cared about each other, just not in love anymore and nothing in common and going nowhere.

A few serious talks and he has left, very amicable, both okay with situation. They sat down together and talked things through with son and he is okay. Dad is seeing son a couple of nights in week and has him one day and night at weekend. It is all okay on that front.

Time has come for Dad to move on. In short, he is living back at parents, paying mortgage and couple of bills at house (where mother and son live) but he now wants to get place of his own and sorted.

They already discussed selling house would have to happen before. Neither can really afford to buy other one out, although this is now becoming an option for him as he is considering interest only mortgage and has lodger lined up to assist with bills etc.

Anyway, he was banking on everything being 50/50 but she has told him she is entitled to a lot more than that, and also a friend told him today he should never have left, and would be better off moving back in as it will be better for his case.

He has been amazing really, left her the house to live in and went and stayed in a tiny single room at his mum and dad's and has been brilliant with son, and good to her re paying all bills etc.

So, anyone here know if this is true? If he was going to buy her out, would he have to give her 70%, and if they end up having to sell, would he only get 30% of the profit?

I'm asking on here as he has been told this tonight, and is understandably worried and I wanted to try and get him some info.

Thanks in advance


  • BVG
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21 Feb 08 #14588 by BVG
Reply from BVG
Hi TJC, I think you have left too many questions needing to be asked.
WIfe's earning capacity
Husbands Earning capacity
CSA orders
House value
Mortgage & teerm left on mortgage
THese are all factors that will have to be takent into account.
The court will take it very seriously the welfare of the wife and child and their housing needs.
A friend of mine is going through this at the moment, the house is valued at £200,000, she has 2 children and a part time job. THere are no pensions to consider. Her xtb has a lives with another woman, a fair income. My friend has offered £38000 to buy him out. This is considered a very fair offer by the sol. If this is not accepted she can live in the house till the children are 16 or 18 if they are in FE. The DJ will now make a final decision on this and the likely hood is it will be a 70/30 split in favour of the wife.
It never is a black and white situation and it can/will be affected by many matters arising.

I sorry if this sounds like doom and gloom, but remember one thing, keep talking and reasoning and this will not only result in lower sols. costs but a better quality of life after the final split.

  • TJC
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21 Feb 08 #14594 by TJC
Reply from TJC
Thanks for the reply, told you I was brand new lol!


House is worth about 180k, they have 80k mortgage currently, not sure how long left, sorry.

Neither have pensions, CSA is not involved because to be honest at this point in time it is not necessary, can't imagine it getting to that either, as he is always going to be there for son, and will ALWAYS pay his way. Sounds corny, but I have known them a long time, so truly believe this. He would also not try for custody, as thinks son would be better off at home.

Both currently on similar wages, taking home about 1k a month.

I think the plan was to sell the house, split the profit and file for divorce in two years, mutually re seperation. Neither want it to get nasty, neither want to really involve solicitors in the interim.

She has also mentioned this 'buying out' thing, i.e. he signs over house and does not pay any maintenance for son. He has worked that out based on 15% of his earnings and basically she would be seriously onto a winner! It seems vey unfair that he has paid 50/50 all the way, done all the work on the house (when they bought it, it was a mess lol)and to think that after all that, he would walk away having saved himself about 14k in maintenance if son leaves school at 16 and she will have everything when he has been paying out for years. To be left with nothing to start up again seems very harsh.

I really feel or him, as the marriage was well and truly over at least three years ago, and they have been like two people sharing space, and now he is going to be penalised so much.

He doesn't have savings, but neither of them have debts. In that respect I take my hat off to them, the only form of credit they have is a car loan that is £50 a month that he has been paying and this has a year left.

He has no ability to put down money on a house without selling this one.

I might be naive, just seems unfair to me, and she is laughing. I know she has the son to consider, but dad would never see him go without, so she has no worries there.

Anyway, think I have waffled enough lol, thanks for listening...


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