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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Help Planning My strategy for best Results.

  • EmpireState
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22 Feb 08 #14778 by EmpireState
Topic started by EmpireState
Planning My divorce strategy for best Results. Any professional advisors out there?

Is this a naive question? Other than my lawyer @ £593 an hour, does anyone else specialise in strategy or planning the whole approach to my specific divorce?

The aim is to maximize this petitioner’s financial settlement. For example, I’m due SM, but respondent's income is low right now, shall I wait because income should be at least 3x higher in the next year or two?

Or, our house was flooded [is near worthless now] and is undergoing major refurbishment. If I act now, can I depend on the courts to see that it is properly redone for maximum resale price?

Who is out there to help this petitioner plan for his maximum benefit?

  • rubytuesday
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23 Feb 08 #14867 by rubytuesday
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hello, welcome to wiki.

You seem to be under the impression that your "planning" your divorce is like planning a busisness strategy. Have you no emotions? A divorce is a very painful experience, ask anyone on here who is currently going through one or has come out the other side. Divorce should not be about the financial settlement, ie how much can you screw out of your spouse, but the recognition that your marriage has failed for whatever reason.
I hope you find your heart.And I'm sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear, but I felt it had to be said.
Ruby

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23 Feb 08 #14881 by IKNOWNOW
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EmpireState,

Do you not, after 24 years of marriage say thank you for the memories of the years past?

I know things are obviously different now but some businessmen would have more respect and concern for the people they are doing business with than the way you seem to want to deal with your divorce.

What has your wife done that she deserves so much hatred that you want to be so so nasty in dealing with your divorce. Money does not equal happiness; do you have no heart that you just see this as a business transaction, which is done by a businessman with no scruples.

Sorry but reading this and your other post re: maintenance, there is no warmth in you as a person at all.

You have not mentioned the marriage at all. I take it you don't have children (well one hopes you don't!).

I really think you should spend your money paying a ruthless lawyer (and hope you are both happy with the final outcome).

Sorry if you don't like what I have said, but divorce sadly is about 2 people's (more if children are involved) emotions and how everyone can survive and flourish post divorce.

Hope you find what you are looking for.

Regards Sarah

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23 Feb 08 #14888 by Gingerkitty
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Empire State

Welcome indeed!!

U and my X2B must have been educated in the same school of life.
My X2B schemed his way to breaking me and 18 months' ago he successfully cracked me up and I crumbled into shadow of my former self. He would even record in his diary how many minutes I used to speak to him and whether I spoke first or him. He earned money and put this into premium bond which he locked away in a safe, he stole my engagement ring and took my wedding ring from our dressing table, locking these in the safe too. He then had an affair but decided that he didnt want to live with her I stupidly thought that I could be brave enough to let him carry on whilst still living in the same house. I felt he had taken my heart completely out of my body and cut it up in front of me - sadly I broke into pieces. I thought that the love that I had for him was enough to try and keep us together.
So as the comment reads above its about the marriage breaking down irretrievably and the affect it has on children, mine are in their 20s and my daughter took an overdose because of her father's mind games in plotting revenge against the family that loved him.
I recall a family meeting he called to tell us all how this other woman made him feel so wonderful, how she was so caring, how he so wanted us all to meet her and see what she was like.
Unfortunately, he is now reaping what he has sown and even though he is intending to Petition me in divorce, he has lost something that no amount of money can buy - his two wonderful children.
My X2B treated our 25 and a half year marriage as a business. He let me go out to work to keep a roof over our heads, he had no shame and would tell people that he had "retired". My children will testify he played no part in their lives but to speak with him he brought them up single-handedly as he reckoned I couldnt cope - quite the opposite, its me they both turn to for love and support and vice versa.
I'm sorry if my words are not what you want to hear. I have now turned the corner in my life and realise that the years I devoted to him are now being thrown back at me. From the day the solicitors letter dropped through my letterbox telling me that he was intending to divorce me for "Unreasonable Behaviour" I now look forward to the rest of my life without him.

  • EmpireState
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25 Feb 08 #14992 by EmpireState
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These are very sensitive issues on this site and obviously I have to keep them in mind when I write. Thank you to those who have responded. My humblest apologies if I struck a nerve in anyone’s mind. Please let me say…

I have absolutely no qualms about rephrasing my title to read “ Please Help Planning Our Split for the Fairest Results for Us BOTH.” I have no one to talk to about this.

Since I’m the petitioner, I sincerely believe I’m not the vindictive one in this relationship. Twenty plus years of constant criticism, nit-picking, humiliation, undermining, denial, refusal to value, manipulation. That’s bullying- that’s my problem. Even our closest of friends will never understand what is happening because they are never there to witness things. I’ve stuck in there so far for our two children. Somehow, WE managed to bring them up successfully. But now I need a life.

I’m a private person and embarrassed that I’ve said as much as I have, but I hope I alleviated any hurt feelings.

Sincerely,

EmpireState

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25 Feb 08 #15000 by gone1
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Amazing. Process driven divorce? No people in there then getting the shite kicked out of them or kids missing fathers or people abused or used? No. Follow this process to maximise your gains. What is the world coming to? Chris

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