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Assault

  • bellister
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23 Feb 08 #14858 by bellister
Topic started by bellister
Hi, again, need help/advice
Things seem to have taen a turn for the worse, we are getting divorced due to husbands adultry but have to live in house together till divorce complete. I try just to ignore him keep out of his way, however yesterday he broke into my bag and stole items , i then broke his pc. I know its only daft spit for spat. however he went out last night phone his lover, came back into house at 1.30am in the morning, broke into my bedroom and put my neck in a arm lock and dragged me out of bed, eventually he let go and i had to listen to the normal rubbish he speaks regarding divorce. Afterwards i went back to bed, do i report this to police which i said i would but he just said he will deny it. He did not punch me or anything he just dragged me from the bed and also stated i am still his wife and i will do what he says.oh i also have a heart problem and its my birthday today, great life it is !!

Help !!
bell

  • attilladahun
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23 Feb 08 #14862 by attilladahun
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Apply without delay for:

An occupation order under Part IV of the Family Law Act 1996

and a non molestation order

Go to Dr and get a letter confirming the concern and fear you have of future assault and that the stress and fear is injurious to your health especially with your heart problem.

Do not delay..Monday see the solicitor to get sorted...go to Dr first thing asap

To speed up matters and make matters cheaper take Marriage Certificate and money laundering info with you ie passport/driving licence and a recent (not more than 3 months old) bank statement or utility bill with your name & address on it.

Write out fully all details of H behaviour and previous threats, violence, so Solr can precis the same for the application.

Log incident with police don't press for prosecution unless repeat. If a non molestation order is made any breach is now a criminal offence which is then dealt with by the Magistrates Court.

If H has alternative accomodation with Lilo Lil great...Court will be more likely to "oust" him from the property especially if the medical evidence supports this!

If an isolated incident the Court may not be prepared to oust but if H has alt accom the application may well achieve a trade off ie H leaves gives an undertaking in lieu of non mol (still enforceable though) and the quid pro quo is no order for costs......but you like a great deal calmer etc

  • bellister
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23 Feb 08 #14864 by bellister
Reply from bellister
thanks for advice. i will report incident and go and see gp on monday. his lover is in spain, he met her on internet and goes to visit her every now again. i dont thing he would ever hit me but this thing last night was new, dragging me out of bed. I am suuposed to be going out for a dinner tonight with friends, but husband says i can not go !! If i stay i will just get the normal lecture from him, i am his wife do what he says !!,, should i still go out.


thanks for help bell

  • megan
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23 Feb 08 #14871 by megan
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Just to say thinking of you on your birthday (it may be a bit much to wish you a happy one). For my birthday I received a foul e-mail telling me he was stopping paying everything. It's a bit about making sure you remain unhappy. Could you stay overnight with friends or family tonight so at least you get a break from him?

  • montana
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23 Feb 08 #14874 by montana
Reply from montana
Hi

Firstly Happy Birthday!

1. Make sure you report this to the police so that you have a record of his assualt
2. Go to A&E/ Your doctor and get it documented.
3. Take any photos with your face included of any brusing/marks again for documentation.
4. Keep a record of any mental, physical, or emotional abuse.

I never thought my husband would assault me but he did and foolishly I did nor record it with police or my GP. In the unreasonable behaviour he wanted this assult claim removed, in fact he counterclaimed that any markd I incurred were due to him restrating me or from me falling around drunk! This was 8am! Ihave never been in a physical confrontation with anyone in my life! I was shocked and outraged but with no documentation what could I do.

You are in shock now but that will go so be as level headed as you can and action the above.

5. Get a lock with a key and change your bedroom door lock. I had to in the end , I even did it myself!.You can keep your handbag and anything else precious to you locked in there. Keep it locked at all times even when you are downstairs in the house and the key on your person at all times.

6. Stay with a fiend /relative tonight just to have a mental break from it all. Tell your friends what he has done. You have nothing to be ashamed about but he has plenty.

Finally go out and have a wonderful time , relax and enjoy your birthday. He sounds like he is controlling and whats good for the goose is not good for the gander in his book. So you go and have a lovely time but ensure you action the above sooner rather than later.

Happy Birthday and I know its tough but it will get better, but be prepared it will take time.:)

  • montana
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23 Feb 08 #14875 by montana
Reply from montana
Hi

Firstly Happy Birthday!

1. Make sure you report this to the police so that you have a record of his assualt
2. Go to A&E/ Your doctor and get it documented.
3. Take any photos with your face included of any brusing/marks again for documentation.
4. Keep a record of any mental, physical, or emotional abuse.

I never thought my husband would assault me but he did and foolishly I did nor record it with police or my GP. In the unreasonable behaviour he wanted this assult claim removed, in fact he counterclaimed that any markd I incurred were due to him restrating me or from me falling around drunk! This was 8am! Ihave never been in a physical confrontation with anyone in my life! I was shocked and outraged but with no documentation what could I do.

You are in shock now but that will go so be as level headed as you can and action the above.

5. Get a lock with a key and change your bedroom door lock. I had to in the end , I even did it myself!.You can keep your handbag and anything else precious to you locked in there. Keep it locked at all times even when you are downstairs in the house and the key on your person at all times.

6. Stay with a fiend /relative tonight just to have a mental break from it all. Tell your friends what he has done. You have nothing to be ashamed about but he has plenty.

Finally go out and have a wonderful time , relax and enjoy your birthday. He sounds like he is controlling and whats good for the goose is not good for the gander in his book. So you go and have a lovely time but ensure you action the above sooner rather than later.

Happy Birthday and I know its tough but it will get better, but be prepared it will take time.:)

  • montana
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23 Feb 08 #14876 by montana
Reply from montana
Hi

Firstly Happy Birthday!

1. Make sure you report this to the police so that you have a record of his assualt
2. Go to A&E/ Your doctor and get it documented.
3. Take any photos with your face included of any brusing/marks again for documentation.
4. Keep a record of any mental, physical, or emotional abuse.

I never thought my husband would assault me but he did and foolishly I did nor record it with police or my GP. In the unreasonable behaviour he wanted this assult claim removed, in fact he counterclaimed that any markd I incurred were due to him restrating me or from me falling around drunk! This was 8am! Ihave never been in a physical confrontation with anyone in my life! I was shocked and outraged but with no documentation what could I do.

You are in shock now but that will go so be as level headed as you can and action the above.

5. Get a lock with a key and change your bedroom door lock. I had to in the end , I even did it myself!.You can keep your handbag and anything else precious to you locked in there. Keep it locked at all times even when you are downstairs in the house and the key on your person at all times.

6. Stay with a fiend /relative tonight just to have a mental break from it all. Tell your friends what he has done. You have nothing to be ashamed about but he has plenty.

Finally go out and have a wonderful time , relax and enjoy your birthday. He sounds like he is controlling and whats good for the goose is not good for the gander in his book. So you go and have a lovely time but ensure you action the above sooner rather than later.

Happy Birthday and I know its tough but it will get better, but be prepared it will take time.:)

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