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Had enough, dont know where to turn, what to do

  • twinks
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01 Mar 08 #15467 by twinks
Topic started by twinks
Directions for trial have been sent, so waititng for date Decree Nisi.

When I gave H the divorce papers i also sent a letter saying due to his agression andthe effect on 2 SN kids that he should move out, he owns 2 properties that he rents out, one is vacant so he wont be in a paper bag on streets.

House is in my name deeds and mortgage, rental from one rental went into my account and paid mortgage. Mortgage was due yesterday, it hadnt been paid, he said, he wont pay the mrtgage or bills etc. So I said well then i need you to leave. He said no, well a few other words were added.

I emotionally cant cope I am sleeping in daughters room, as soon as i get the kids to bed i am staying upstairs as i am afraid of him he has made serious threats. I am not eating or sleeping and the kids are being effected.

I asked sol a few weeks ago about the non molestation and occupancy order, but that would take ages and cost a fortune and as he wont pay mortgage bills and food, i need any money to go on that.

Can I remove his things put them in the other house and change locks. I have already written asking him to go. so he has had notice. And before anyone says its his home as well he is in serious debt, has remortgaged this house to get money out so he sees this house as the only way he can get future money. He has taken over £110k out of it, so it has been said that he already has had his share.

I cant cope with this and its hurting the kids, i am a prisioner in the house when he is here, too scared to go downstairs when he is here

  • ciaobella
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01 Mar 08 #15470 by ciaobella
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Hi Twinks,
you really need to report this to the police or womans aid, you are a victim of domestic violence and you need to get away from the situation. Surely yours and the kids safety has to come first. Please speak to victim support help lines, you can't go on like this. Costs will have to be sorted out ata later date, the VS will advice on this part but get safe first. He has no right to continue to harrass and bully you. Please seek help Twinks. Wish I could help more. My heart goes out to you.
Louisa

  • attilladahun
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01 Mar 08 #15474 by attilladahun
Reply from attilladahun
Look at the alternatives

Either go for occupation order /non mol and at same time Crt can order him to pay outgoings so achieved 2 aims but less likely he will pay costs if he given undertakings and leaves BUT you have got peace of mind

or

apply for interim maintenance..more chance of him paying the costs if he is not paying enough

personally I'd go for the former........there's always the chance that at court if you know the assets a deal can be sorted out

  • dukey
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01 Mar 08 #15497 by dukey
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Hello again Twinnks

I agrea with Attilla hes a sol by the way, you can apply for the non mol and occupation order (with power of arrest attached) to the "family proceedings court" without a fee, or you can apply for funding by civil legal aid i also remember reading somewhere that you can have the fee waived if not applying to the family proceedings court when money is short ill do some more digging.
Hang in there Twinks you will feel so much better and safer when he has gone.

Dukey

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01 Mar 08 #15499 by dukey
Reply from dukey
Hello again Twinnks

I agrea with Attilla hes a sol by the way, you can apply for the non mol and occupation order (with power of arrest attached) to the "family proceedings court" without a fee, or you can apply for funding by civil legal aid i also remember reading somewhere that you can have the fee waived if not applying to the family proceedings court when money is short ill do some more digging.
Hang in there Twinks you will feel so much better and safer when he has gone.

Dukey

  • Angel557
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01 Mar 08 #15503 by Angel557
Reply from Angel557
I asked my ex to leave in the April i got alot of verbal from him and he told me , me and the kids had to leave, i was'nt going to leave due to the kids needing somewhere to live.I carried on for another 4 months and in that time being bruised every week, by his constant shoulder barging me into things.In the Aug i had had enough for 2 days solid he was in my face hurling abuse and threats at me in front of the kids and i snapped and told him he had 30 secs to leave or i will be calling the police .Never seen anyone move so fast.

  • 80SGIRLWOKEUP
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01 Mar 08 #15509 by 80SGIRLWOKEUP
Reply from 80SGIRLWOKEUP
i know its expensive but i went through the non-mol process had 3 non moles orders and three hearings over 14 month period with my ex. Had police out neighbour out everything during this time
However it was only with the NOn mol that ex took me seriously and left me alone gave me sense of protection, and peace. My sols fees for the non-mol and 2x in court once with Barrister cost £900 well worth it. Hopefully youll only have 2 go court once and wont need a Barrister so would be alot cheaper!
Best Luck 80s

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