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Update on court Hearing

  • Emalou33
  • Emalou33's Avatar Posted by
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
02 Mar 08 #15565 by Emalou33
Topic started by Emalou33
Hello all,

well I was in court on Friday - all day!! - MPS hearing was scheduled for one hour and we were in from 10.30 until 4.15pm.

It was hell. My husband who I have been living with for ten years did not even acknowledge me and yet he left me for another woman!!

I was a bit shell shocked by it all. H barrister was a vicious git called Mr.Kidd, not sure of anyone else has met him but he was sp rude to me the judge pulled him up a couple of times, there whole case for not giving me anymore money is that they say that the man I met 5 months after my6 husband left and who stayed with me for a short time whilst he was sorting a new flat out was cohabiting with me. I kept on explaining this and eventually the judge brought it to a head and said Hhad to give me a further £300/month until the ancillary relief proceeding.

Thing is I am provately paying and the lawyer did not tell me it was going to take £2800 to get my husband to court and if the ancillary relief takes three months as planned, then I have £900 benefit awarded by the court so it was a ridiculous excercise.... I cannot understand what my solicitor was thinking of. The judge made a couple of commemts re the house being a drain so it looks as if I keep fighting they will force me to see it anyway.

not sure what to do.

in respect of costs the judge just said it is a no cost environment and so we each pay our own. This seems so unfair as it was my x2bs refusal to communicate which led us to court. So here I am £2800 worse off I spent a day in court with a man I still love and we never so much as breathed the same air. I just feel so desperately sad.

As well as all that despite being still in love with my x2b I do have a nive new boyfriend, and we are afraid for him even to stay the night as my x2b seems obsessed with proving he is living here, despite him having a rented room 3 miles away.. It seems so wrong that my x2b left me for another woman, left me alone and vulnerable with a 10 year old daughter (I suffer anxiety and hate being in the house alone, and now I have a nice man we are scared to relax. Also I feel a pressure to decide on whether we want to live together or not and we are not ready for that yet, as I am being forced to start over again, and together we could have a better home, but I just dod not feel secure enough with the relationship to committ to something that intermingled.

Trouble is I still love my x2b, it has been over a year since he left, but I know if he turned up and begged forgiveness ( which he won't) I would probably want to give it another chance. New man is so lovely but I cannot love him as I should as x2b still haunting me, even though I know we will never be together again.

Yours in confusion and poordom


  • DownButNotOut
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  • Visitor
  • Visitor
04 Mar 08 #15682 by DownButNotOut
Reply from DownButNotOut

Read your post... very sorry about how things have gone.

You are right it was nuts to spend 2800 on legal fees to gain 900 in extra maintenance.

The only winners are the sols and lawyers in these situations.

On still loving your ex that is very hard, but understandable. It may take a while longer before you get over him as there is a great attraction to what we know we cannot have. Even if common sense tells us it is not the best thing for us.

Keep posting and keep in touch.


  • Fiona
  • Fiona's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
04 Mar 08 #15687 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona

Solicitors should normally:

give you a client care letter that sets out what you have asked them to do, who will be handling your case and such things as the likely cost

tell you about any possible increase in costs and seek your agreement

See;- What to do if you want to complain about a solicitor


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