13 months on from Hub leaving, and I am still in bits, following our recent MPS hearing he sent me a text, which intimated that he still cared about me saying he was proud of me in court. I tried so hard not to believe it might be a sign, but because he was so upset I let my guard down and was lovely to him again, I cannot stand upset between us, I love him so much, but then only yesterday - my daughter told me he wants her to meet his girlfriend again, He has been seeing her since before he left me and i know I can't avoid it forever but my duaghter is all I have left, and I am so scared of the feelings I have, of desperation and loss at her being a 'family' with H and new partner.
I just cannot accept that we are over.
On top of this - the company I work for is being closed down, more financial worry, I have a boyfriend who is potty about me and I care for him a lot but cannot bring myself to love him enough, memories and hopes re H keeo getting in the way, but I cling on because without him I would be so lonely, this is not kind to him and i beat myself up about it and want to tell him how I feel, but I am afraid of being alone. I have a four bed house which is going to be sold (more stress and H offering no help and support), a big doggy, and a daughter with the most social activities of anyone I know, without my boyfriend I would struggle to manage all this - but that is not enough - is it?
just feel like running away - too much pressure- only my little girl keeps me going and I know if she spends time with H and new partner they will want her more and more................
Just wanted to send my best wishes, the last thing you need is financial trouble on top of the other stuff you're dealing with. My advice, for what its worth, is be strong with regard to your husband - he's not coming back and he's not worthy of you if he did; as for your boyfriend - be patient with him but ultimately don't stay with him unless you love him so much you can't imagine life without him.
Whatever you decide, know that people on this site are rooting for you.
Thank you Ephelia, it is so good to know there are people out there who can understand. I just wish I could see light at the end of the tunnel, people keep saying time is a healer, but I feel almost as bad now as i did over a year ago - not sure how to make it any better..