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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

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I dont think I can take this anymore,

  • twinks
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15 Mar 08 #16885 by twinks
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It seems as though everyday he is finding ways to destroy me. Today got a letter from his sol. It was 8 pages of lies. The court wrote saying that they wont give me the nisi as he said that I forged his signature, and courts say that his sig and that on the letter are different. Yes they are cos that letter to the court was written by his father. So now his dad has made a liable comment about me.

He said that he called the police, yet it ws me that dialled 999 and that call will have been taped, and he said that no incident took place, so why was there 2 police cars there, why did the domestic violence unit instal a panic alarm.

He said that he is a loving and devoted father, one that hasnt paid a penny to his kids since he went, he even got his sol to say that he would collect the kids today at 8 am, yet he didnt, so day one and he has already messed the kids up.

He is saying he wants 1/2 the furniture, where does he want his kids to sit. He told sol that he will have to do an IVA he has been 'planning this for months' and said that if i go to court for maintance order it will make him bankrupt. He said he will pay the CSA rates for the kids, both have autism, so i know that the court should deal with that. He is moving into an investment property that he owns, he also owns another one as well. He even wants to take the fish in the pond.

I have no money, I get DLA for my son and i am well over the overdraft limited. He has left me with phone, gas, electricity, water rates, council tax, insurance, vets bills,food, school meals, mortgage, he was a smart beep and put all bills in my name. so i am stuffed.

With both kids having autism, life was always tough but i am about ready to burst, i cant cope, i am ashamed to admit that for the first time ever the kids have seen me on the floor sobbing, i have always coped with everything life threw at me and would never let the kids see me upset. I only had a hysterectomy 5 months ago with cervix removed due to cervical cancer and I am physically, emotionally and mentally shattered. He was a controlling bully and he is still doing it now. I have no idea what to do, I have no real support, mom has been ill so i dont want to worry her and he managed to push all my mates away, i just cant cope and have no ideaw hat to do anymore, he isnt destitute, he has moved into a £400,000 house.

  • Elle
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15 Mar 08 #16886 by Elle
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Twinks,
Hang in there.....its a crisis moment....you are only human and have shown superhuman strength.....you are letting out emotion...you need to....you are coping with a tremendous amount of difficulties....I take my hat off to you.....and wish I could pop round n hug you....
Elle

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15 Mar 08 #16887 by Angel557
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Twinks right now you need a buddy , i will be your buddy to help support you , your life has had a similair path to mine, i have a special needs child, my ex has assualted me on more than 1 occasion , dad has played the doting father when it suits right now has no contact once again , i have been reported to social services , my ex trying to have me comitted to a nut house , his father writing cheques from my bank account , my ex changing my address on my new bank account an account used for my rent, he made also made sure all the bills were in my name and i struggled to pay them, he then made sure i got served notice and me and the kids were in a homeless unit but twinks i am coming through it all now i have piles of letters written by his solicitors full of crap and lies to break and hurt me i cried when i first read them now i sit back and laugh at them.you will too one day, sending you a big hug xxxx

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15 Mar 08 #16891 by markp
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hi twinks
you dont have deal with this alone just come and let everything out on here and people will only be 2 happy to try and be the shoulder you need, as we all have suffered similar problems, my s2bx has told alsorts of lies about me and keeps trying to play with our sons head, she's also stating that she's going to report me to police for everything that comes to mind, so that our son will be taken off me but at same time says she doesn't want to bring him up.

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15 Mar 08 #16893 by topaz
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hi twinks,do you have a social worker you can chat to? I thought you might have one as you said you had 2 kids with Autism, in itself a difficult issue to deal with.If not you can request the aid of one by speaking to your GP.
you should be able to get help with some of the bills then I hope.Be strong,you will get through this.

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15 Mar 08 #16895 by gorgeous
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Hi twinks
dont despair been in a similar situation still am. He was a control freak and continues to be to my kids. Verbal abuse is so hard people dont believe you. You soon find out who ur mates r. I've lost all but 2 of mine it hurts they believe him over me. Hang on in there take each day at a time keep chattin online it really helps!

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16 Mar 08 #16913 by PMW
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Twinks,

Do you have a solicitor? If not consult one immediatley. You could qualify for legal aid.

It sounds like the threat of an IVA could be just that. Sending an 8 page letter would have cost him. Your solicitor will take you through the financial proceedings process. Don't agree to voluntary disclosure by your husband; ask for form E to be completed. You will need to complete one too. These have to be sworn under oath. Anything found to divert from the truth later will not look good.

If it were me, I would take copies of anything I could find in the matrimonial home relating to my husband's financial activities, unless he has cleared out already. Never open his personal post though,although the sender address on the back of many envelopes can be searched on the internet for clues! (My husband's form E is incomplete and incorrect;fortunately I have some proof.)

The NAS has a parent to parent line 0800 9 520 520 which may help you at this critical time. How ill is your mum? If she knew how desperate you were, she would want you to tell her.

Good luck honey.

PMW

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