im lost where do i go?

i dont know where to go or do, got married nearly 7 years ago, in pakistan, he only married me for visa but is related to me dad, my dad does not understand me i am a single seperated mum with 1 child but have no proof of marriage i dont know how or what to do anymore. i want a happy and secure life for my child and my self....

Dear Jina

Can I ask you one question arising from what you say - you say your husband is related to your father, but you do not say what the relationship is.

In England and Wales a marriage between certain categories of close relative is void. The list is :

PROHIBITED DEGREES OF RELATIONSHIP - ENGLAND AND WALES AND NORTHERN IRELAND

1. Two people are within prohibited degrees of relationship if one falls within the list below in relation to the other:

· Adoptive child
· Adoptive parent
· Child
· Former adoptive child
· Former adoptive parent
· Grandparent
· Grandchild
· Parent
· Parent's sibling
· Sibling
· Sibling's child
"sibling" means a brother, sister, half-brother or half-sister.

2. Two people are within prohibited degrees of relationship if one of them falls within the list below in relation to the other, unless -

· both of them have reached 21 at the time when they register as civil partners of each other, and
· the younger has not at any time before reaching 18 been a child of the family in relation to each other.
· Child of former civil partner
· Child of former spouse
· Former civil partner of grandparent
· Former civil partner of partner
· Former spouse of Grandparent
· Former spouse of partner
· Grandchild of former civil partner
· Grandchild of former spouse

"child of the family" in relation to another person, means a person who:
· has lived in the same household as that other person, and
· has been treated by that other person as a child of his family.

The legal name for it is ' prohibited degrees of relationship '. As far as English law is concerned, you cannot marry someone within the prohibited degrees - not legally anyway !

The next question is, what is it that you want out of this messy situation ? Do you want to be out of the marriage and be free to make a fresh start ?

As far as English law is concerned, getting a divorce after five years' separation is relatively easy, but normally you need to produce your marriage certificate. That, as you say , might be difficult.

If the law in Pakistan in relation to marriages between close relatives is similar to that in England, and your husband and you were within the prohibited degrees, then the marriage might be void anyway. But I am conscious of cultural and religious considerations here ; Pakistan is a Moslem country with a different legal system.

My other concern is that you don't do anything which might prejudice your right to stay in Britain. I know nothing at all about immigration law except that it's difficult !

I think in your situation I would be looking for a voluntary advice centre which specialised in giving advice to immigrants and particularly Asians. Try the information centre at your local authority or a CAB. It is a reasonable place to start.

Good luck
Mike 100468

hi,
i have spoken to the c a b but they cannot help me, i don't want any maintenance off my child's father now its been 5years so why ask off him now???

hi, yes he is my fathers nephew from Pakistan, secondly i am a British citizen, born and bred in Luton, and yes i do want to have a divorce more than anything, i want to get married again in the future.I don't know what to do, i phoned some1 in Pakistan to see if i could get a copy of my marriage cert, but apparently i cant, so I'm stuck, is there any body out there going through the same?and can give me some advice???????????

Hi Jina,

I'm sorry to hear of the situation you are currently in.

I'm guessing that you were raised a Muslim? If so, there are various Muslim Women's Associations and agencies which you can research on the web. They tend to based in London mostly, but I've heard of one or two who operate National Helplines. They might have more specialised knowledge of your needs or know Solicitors who deal with complex cases.

If you are religious, but not a Muslim there are also quite a variety of other specific agencies for women which you can keyword search on the net.

Good luck and I hope it works out for you all.

Jina

I would of thought if he only married you for a visa, then thats illegal anyway and would be null and void. Maybe you ought to report it to the immigration authority! But then again you did have a child by this man! So I doubt it was just for a visa! BTW he should also be paying maintenance for his child, it makes a mockery of all the dads that are paying above and beyond their fair share to pay for dads who dont!
Also if he got his visa surely thats proof enough that you were married and it was legal in this country, I would hope that we dont grant visas in this country based upon myth, surely you have to prove in the form of paperwork that its all legal and above board. Maybe thats where you should start, where he went for his Visa!

Louise