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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Arrrrgh! So frustrating!

  • Pundit
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19 Mar 08 #17237 by Pundit
Topic started by Pundit
It has now been over a month since stbx told me that I should cease all contact with him and only contact him via his solicitor.

Much as I resent the sheer fecking brass neck of the man (long story, explained in my blog if you're interested!) I bit my tongue, sat on my hands and instructed my solicitor to contact his - a MONTH ago. And I've heard nothing back. Nothing! I've been on the phone twice to my sol, but he says that the other sol keeps stalling.

I can't stand this, I just want to get on and get things sorted. What can the hold up be? I shouldn't be surprised, he has always been a procrastinator, but this is torture. I just want to know what's going on. I just want us to reach a financial bloody agreement, then we can both sit back, wait out the year of separation (I'm in Scotland) and that will be it.

But no. He's sticking his head in the sand again.

It wasn't meant to get like this :(I don't understand why we both can't come out of this with some dignity and hope for the future.

How can I speed things up? Or rather, how can I come to accept this slow pace?

  • Fiona
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19 Mar 08 #17238 by Fiona
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Remember you may only divorce after one year with your husband's agreement. I divorced in Scotland when separation was 2 years with consent or 5 years without and my ex-husband typically took 10 months to a year to respond to each lawyer's letters. Eventually we divorced after 4.5 years.

TBH there isn't much you can do for the moment, other than get on with day to day living the best you can.

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20 Mar 08 #17253 by Pundit
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Fiona - 10 months to a year per letter? Oh my goodness, really?!

My heart has sunk reading that. it's exactly the sort of thing I can see my stbx doing.

I am trying to get on with things day to day, I have lots of other things to focus on, but I'm a person who likes to have things out in the open, with everyone knowing what's going on and a plan in place (probably why the ex and I don't get on ;)) and the prospect of not being able to do that is just - nnnnnnnnnnhhhhhgggggghhh!

I do understand that I need his consent, the last I heard it wasn't an issue, as he needs to divorce me to try to get his mitts on the money he thinks he deserves, but from his actions I'm now wondering if that strategy has changed and he's decided he can have more fun with me over a barrel waiting for it to happen....oh dear.

I really wish there was something I could do.

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