Husband visited prostitute and i just cant forgive

My hsband and i have bee married for a little under two years. We hae a one year old son and i am four months pregnant with our second chld.

We have not been getting on well or a few months now andthings came to a head when my husband woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me he had visited a prostiute. He told me it was only oral sex but then decided we should have treatent for pubic lice so i do not know if i beleive him.

I NEVER beleived he was the type to do this to me with anyone let alone a prostitute. He seemed really sorry for a couple of weeks and said he would do whatever it took to fix us. After only a fortnight he is back to being sarcastc and i plan to start a usiness after i have the new baby and he is being so nasty about it, saying it will not work.

I cry all the time, mostly when we argue and he will not leave me alone. He will not stop until i have heard everything he has to say (usually listing my faults).He did not used to be like this, we were in love once and i want to leave but i am so scared how i will manage. I have one baby not even born yet.

Please someone help me i feel so lonley as i have not told anyone what is happenng, i would be too ashamed.

Rachel

Dear Rachel,

I am so sorry to hear things are this bad for you just when you should be thinking about your baby.

You have to remember that it is not your fault that your husband is behaving like this, and so nothing at all to be ashamed of. Once you have confided in a friend or a family member it will be much easier.

It sounds to me as though it's not the going to a prostitute that is wrong with your marriage, but your husband's behaviour towards you the rest of the time. It is soul-destroying to be belittled like this all the time. Life with two small children will be very hard but in the long term it might be much easier emotionally than living with someone who constantly makes you feel awful about yourself.

Good luck!

Sadie

Blimey Rachel. This is bad stuff. I dont blame you for not wanting to forgive him. This is betrayal of the ultimate kind. There must be something very wrong with him to do this to you. I cant believe what you must be going thru. I dont blame you for crying. You should not blame yourself. You have done nothing wrong. You are having his baby for christsakes. There are some sick people in this world. Be strong for what lies ahead and also for your baby.

My heart goes out to you. Chris.

Thanks Sadie,

You might be right, I think i know what i have to do. I am going to tell my mum everything and then divorce him and get on with my life.

x

Thanks Chris,

Does anyone know what happens to the house we own jointly? I read somewhere that i cant make him move out if he will not go. I live in his hometown and he has family and freinds here who could put him up, i would be keeping the kids.

Is there anyway i can make him go?

Hi Rachael, sorry to hear whats happening to you. It seems very odd behaviour on the part of your husband, sounds like he wants you to divorce him. Obviously i'm not sticking up for him, but surely there must be more to the story?

I think you will have to be smart about what you do, who knows what he is capable of doing during the inevitable divorce. If he leaves the house, can you make all the payments if he won't? What role do you envisage him playing when you give birth?

I'd tell his family what he's done aswell as your own, you will need as much support as you can get, but unfortunately if he won't leave the house your only chance of getting him out is a restraining order which is usually placed on someone because they are threatening rather than having encounters with whores.

Whatever you do, never forgive him.

He is a good father to our one year old and i imagine he will play a big part when the new one arives.

He is not at all violent and you are right there is more to the story... we have both been unhappy for a long time but as far as i know this was the first time either of us had been unfaithful but we have both said terribly cruel things to each other of late but this in no way justifies his cheating.

I am frightened how i will manage two cildren under two on my own.