I've been separated almost 2 years now, looking into making it final, I've a kid (8) which lives in the house with my x2b (and her child 17) I pay the mortgage and all the utilities. I just wanted to know if anyone knew the standing on "Putting a roof over your childs head" Shes addiment that shes not moving and doesnt want to sell the house. Can anyone help?
Hi Tony. I must presume you have a joint stake in the house as you are paying the mortgage. You are both jointly responsible for the roof and you dont have to do it all. The best thing would be to enter into divorce proceedings and in particular ancilory relief. This will resolve finacial matters and allow you to settle things. You cant force her to sell but something has to give. You are entitled to some of the equity. Between 20% - 50% is normal but I doubt you will get 50% as you have a child and your childs needs are taken into account.
Its upto you to pay what you want but as minimum I would pay half the mortgage and thats that. Bills are not your responsibilty. But if you want to pay it all go ahead. Chris.
The settlement you reach will depend on your individual circumstances, I work full time and my STBX does not pay the half the bills, we have agreed a set amount per month, I have 2 children (7 and 10).
I have bought his equity in the house, we agreed on a figure which was below 50%. So whether I stay inthe house or move now is down to how I manage my finances.
Have you tried the Divorce Calculator on this site as this might help you get some idea of the situation, and this would enable you to start a discussion with your STBX. Obviously if you can agree this between yourselves it saves expensive solicitors and court costs, and should mean that you can both end up better off.
Also get your STBX to ensure that she has minimised the bills, claiming single person council tax and child tax credit or working tax credit (must be working 16 hours minimum) as a single mum, they do not take any payments from you into account and the payments can make a big difference.
If your wife has not had much to do with the finances previously it can be a stressful and worrying time and this can cause the type of reaction you describe. When I split up I went through a hoarding period, and I felt insecure and was relying purely on myself. I had never had to do this with children before and it was daunting even though I am a very independent person.
Now over a year on I feel free and happy to be independent, so she might just need a bit of support to help her reach that stage.