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Am I being really thick?

  • Rog.
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21 Aug 07 #2211 by Rog.
Topic started by Rog.
The possibly-not-so-soon-to-be-ex-wife and I were going for divorce on the grounds of 2 years separation, and I thought either of us could make the first petition fairly soon (she moved out four months ago). Soon to be ex thinks we can't do anything at all for two years. If this is the case, what happens if one of us meets someone else in the meantime? Do we then change our minds and cite adultery? Should we forget the two years separation grounds and go for unreasonable behaviour instead just to get it over with? Truthfully, I have no idea what behaviour either of us could use, but from what I've read it seems like the courts are fairly lenient/disinterested in the grounds and you could just use something like 'lack of affection'. Any ideas would be much appreciated.

Confused Rog. :S

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21 Aug 07 #2212 by dun
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www.terry.co.uk/divorce.html
grounds for divorce - desertion if she moved out 4 months ago and UB is fairly common as the grounds can be agreed between you, if you are both consenting to the divorce.

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21 Aug 07 #2214 by Rog.
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I'm sure it was 'terry' who said that it is best to start the petition before the two years are up. I'll have to recheck the site - thanks for reminding me of it.

She moved out four months ago, not four years ago. Although sometimes it does seem like four years...

Rog.

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21 Aug 07 #2216 by divwiki
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Rog,

I really feel for you as I'm in the same position 4 weeks into my wife's desertion. She keeps saying she is getting a divorce and has notionally accepted an offer, but I still haven't seen an initial letter from her supposed solicitor, let alone the petition itself.

It's supposed to be coming with Unreasonable Behaviour grounds; she reckons she's stating watches too much tv, doesn't help ENOUGH around the house, etc. I think I could counter-sue, but as there is no right or wrong in the divorce court - just "need" - I think it's probably best if I swallow my pride and go along with it. That's as long as she doesn't come up with something outrageous that I have to contest.

Some female users of this site have suggested that my x2b doesn't want to let go yet despite her words and desertion for another man. ANy chance that your ex-partner is in the same state of mind?

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21 Aug 07 #2217 by Rog.
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I've had my hopes dashed too many times to even contemplate that she might not be serious about this at this stage. I really just want it over, which is why the threat of having it hanging over my head for the next two years has really got me down. It doesn't feel right sorting out the financial side of things, getting the house valued etc when there's nothing 'official' saying we are getting a divorce. I thought the Decree Nisi would be kicked off almost immediately, but it looks like I was wrong. I'm going to have to talk to her about 'unreasonable behaviour' grounds. I don't really care who makes the petition, or what the grounds are. Maybe I can use sudden and total personality change on her part as one of the reasons...

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21 Aug 07 #2224 by divwiki
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Hi again Rog,

I'm totally with you on how it feels to sort finances without any guarantee of a divorce, especially a Clean Break I might add.(See my latest 'thread' in financial forum.)

I guess if you bring the divorce you will create the impression of being more in control, especially if court costs are not an issue for you.

Wish I'd thought of sudden personality change, it sums mine up to a 't'.

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