Just to let you know, please please PLEASE try mediation first if you can, we wrote to my husbands ex wife two years ago and asked if she would consider mediation, she said NO! And promptly sent us a solicitors letter. Two years later we are still going through the legal process, it was our final hearing Tuesday and Wednesday of this week. Its now been adjourned for 4 weeks. But at least now we can see light at the end of the tunnel. We have had to be litigants in person because we could not afford representation, his ex wifes legal bill was read out in court this week! THIRTY THOUSAND POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!! The Judge nearly dropped through the floor and told her to seriously question her solicitors bill. If you go down the legal process you will end up with so many sleepless nights, it makes you extremely depressed at times and you walk around with a black cloud over your head, wondering where it has all gone wrong. The trouble is.... where do you stop? 5k? 10K? 15k? on and on, you end up so deep in it financially that you cant stop. Mediation only works if you both agree with it and i so hope you do. If it doesnt work then you can still go down the legal path, but my honest opinion is try mediation first it will save you so much heartache.
Kind regards and good luck
Thanks for taking the trouble to reply. The money side of of does worry me. It's not wanting revenge or cause any agro, that's making me question mediation, it's just things got a bit ugly and I'm not sure I can face him. I freaked out when I found out he knew where I lived.
Suppose I could try it and stop if I couldn't manage.
Sorry to hear of your troubles and hope it's all sorted for you soon.
Sorry to hear the position you are in and i fully understand your fears, i am sorry i cant be much help as i dont know exactly how the mediation path goes. As far as i am aware its not much different from sitting round a table with a councellor whose trained in these matters. I wish you luck and hope in time you will get your confidence back and can face the world with a bright future and put the past behind you.
Was in a similar situation. mediation only works if both of you accept the marriage is over and are willing to negotiate over the finances, access etc. It does not work if one party is a complete ass and wants to be obstructive or difficult.
The legal process takes forever and can work out very expensive but it may be the only way forward in some cases. Good Luck
I went to mediation and I found it helpful in some respect, but what I wanted to tell you is you can have shuttle mediation as I did.
Due to xs unreasonable behaviour we were interviewed in seperate rooms with the mediator darting back and forth. Dont let facing him put you off, they will work with you and it is cheaper, If mediation doesnt work the courts could order a full CAFCASS report but on children only not finances so it would be better to show that you are willling to give it a go.