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The other love interest

  • gone1
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07 Sep 07 #2990 by gone1
Reply from gone1
Soulmate. You come across as a love struck fool. She is making a fool out of you. Did she give a fu** when she was slagging you off to her bohemian mates? No. What about when she was shagging this new bloke? What about your vows?

What ever you do dont contact him. But I would contact her. I would be right round there to give her the good news. What does this do? Screws up there little plan to dispose of you. Why should he have your wife and his wife as well? He and your fasionable wife have got it all. What have you got? The sh1t end of the stick.

Mate. How can I say this? They are taking you for a ride. She dont love you like she used to. What utter sh1t. Perhaps she fell and bumped her head? Silly women.

She loves him? Thats a pile of crap as well. She sounds and acts like a bored 16 year old.

Sorry to come across so hard mate but you gota wise up.

Still going to be friends? How can you be friends with someone that has utterly betrayed you? Have you fell and bumped your head?

Sorry again but you aint thinking right. How can you think about dating? You are way off mark. Chris.

  • jay160602
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07 Sep 07 #2992 by jay160602
Reply from jay160602
Hi Soulmate,

I'm different to you, when my wife effectively ended our marriage the furthest thing from my mind was maintaining a freindship with her.

My trust & respect for her almost evaporated instantly.

Your wife selfishness has effected you & your childrens lives forever, all because she fancied some bloke from years ago.

She is probably banging him as often as possible, how can you believe that she is not & wether she is or isn't it don't really matter, she doesn't want you.

Forget about meeting anyone else, look after your kids & yourself & divorce your cheating wife as fast as possible.

As regards this other bloke, its upto you what you do, personally i'd phone him & thank him for helping you to see what an idiot your wife has become & then make sure his wife is made aware of everything that your wife has been saying. Hopefully the truth will come out.

You've got to fight back she's laughing in your face.

With regard to your freinds, if they ever were proper freinds, tell them your story, you will soon find out.

  • Shelia
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07 Sep 07 #3002 by Shelia
Reply from Shelia

It is an unfortunate part of life that we get bad stuff chucked at us that we do not deserve. I don't think anyone gets through life without this happening at some point. It is how you deal with it that makes the difference. Of course you are hurting and I do not think you are a fool. Life is not fair and those that think goods deeds should be rewarded are going to be disappointed. Good deeds should be carried out for their own sake.

If you read other parts of the forum, I'm sure you realise that if you can keep getting divorced as amicable as possible then it will be easier and cheaper. mediation is helpful in sorting out the finances if it can be arranged. You sound level headed to me and that will help you deal with your loss. Loosing a relationship is akin to a bereivement (which I can't spell!).

Don't blame yourself, people change that's all and trying to say who is to blame will not change the here and now. And as for getting a new partner, ask any woman, a good man is hard to find and you sound like a good man to me, so you will soon find have women queueing round the block! Just give yourself sometime to get over it.

Try and get out of your failed marriage as best you can and try and look forward. My life has got much better over the last 6 months and I'm not divorced yet, and I was in bits I didn't think I would see the year out.

If I can do it so can you.

Best wishes


  • herewegoagain
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08 Sep 07 #3006 by herewegoagain
Reply from herewegoagain
I was in bits too,2005, had 6 weeks off work, emotional wreck. But now, I'm fine. Been to Turkey and Spain. He did me a massive favour leaving. The idiot gave up his house, his wonderful relationship with his son, family etc. Kept his two golfing/snooker buddies though, just changed the woman! He even bought a border collie, because the dog stayed with me! Mid life crisis, still doesn't have the motorbike - he went to college to learn to read and write so he could pass the bike test! His loss! He even told our son he should never have married me! Shame the marriage lasted 26 years then!

  • Soulmate
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11 Sep 07 #3199 by Soulmate
Reply from Soulmate
She let slip that he did not know the full truth about his part in our break-up. She said that if she told him, he would not want to see her again and she had to tell him now. I cannot believe that I said that if he was any type of friend that he would not run a mile.
Long story short, they met she said her piece to him, I get to talk with them both and he re-confirms that he has only seen her as a friend and does really want his own relationship to work out. If he had realized how deeply she felt about him sooner, he would have backed off but now it is too late. She now knows that they will not be together but she still loves him and could never love me the same way again, and because of this would still rather sell the house disrupt the children and forget 23 years of being together without even trying.

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