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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

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The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

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Elp !! URGENT Answer needed !!!

  • Louise11
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31 May 07 #494 by Louise11
Reply from Louise11
Hi Dobbs,

I forgot to mention, the dad!!

I beleive the best thing to do is stay with the mediation, not that i have any experience in the mediation side of things at all. But financially i think its best all round.

The thing i would be doing is.......

1) Write a list of all assets and debts that you jointly own. Show your wages and hers ect ect, show what you can afford and what she can afford. You know as in short, medium and long term plan.

2) Asking her to sit down and go through it all with her.
tell her her dad can be there too, to show your not trying anything underhanded.

3) Find a website and print off anything that shows the costs that can accure if you both go down the fighting path. (show her that any assets you both have will all definately go!) My partners ex has had to sign her house over to her solicitors now, as its 2 years down the line and she owes them 30k, all the profit she had in her house!)

Try and keep trying to mediate, but always ask her to bring someone i.e. her dad in any dealings to show you are not trying to rip her off in any way shape or form. Be as open and honest as you can.

My 1st husband and i did that, we had a piece of paper in front of us, showing exactly what we were worth, we both came up with an agreement that suited us both and we decided to keep our assets instead of giving them away to some rich solicitor as we had worked mega hard over the years for our assets. (he went to see one for the "FREE" half hour consultation and ended up writing a cheque out to her from our JOINT bank account for £600 and she wrote me a nasty letter, which i knew my husband would never have agreed with. It just so turns out that when i showed him the letter he realised that it would all turn very bitter if he went down that path.

Anyway 5 years later we are the best of friends, he does jobs for me and i do jobs for him, he even plays pool at times with my new hubby (although i dont like em chatting when im not around!!!! lol u no comparing notes ect)

Try your hardest to be fair and reasonable it will all pay off in the end if you do.

Kind regards

  • Dobber
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31 May 07 #506 by Dobber
Reply from Dobber
Ok here goes , my financial info..
Lengh of marrige 10yrs
Her income 16k pa which will rise to 28k pa in Sept when youngest starts school, shes going back FT.
My income 22k pa
kids 2 4 & 9 yr olds.
Accsess.... I have them every weekend for one night this alternates to 2 nights everyother .
House.. 130k equity , 70k morgage
My assets.. none (apart from house equity)
Her assets.. Pension 60k lump & 16k pa (est)
Debts .. £1800 (her store cards!!)
House bought in joint names 11 yrs ago (before marrige.)

Now based on that I think taking 30% of my wage for kids plus giving 20% of equity put off for 15 or so years. Is takin the pi55. She has also said I,m not gettin any of her pension. She is living in cloud cookoo land I think. I dont want any of her pension , All I want from this is a decent deposit for a small house. which in this part of the country , I,ll need every penny !! So do I just shut up & let the mediator deal with this ?


Sorry edited to add... She was running her pension 7 years before we met. The 30% she has dremt up for 2 kids is around half the morgage payments inc insurances. I have no probs really in her being able to stay in the house but need a damn sight more than 20% in 15 years time.

Post edited by: Dobber, at: 2007/05/31 19:51<br><br>Post edited by: Dobber, at: 2007/05/31 19:55

  • LittleMrMike
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03 Jun 07 #552 by LittleMrMike
Reply from LittleMrMike
I am afraid that I do not have enough information to give an answer to your question.

I would advise, first of all, try the CSA website, which I think you will find contains a calculator which you can use to work out your likely child support contributions.

You wife is claiming 30% of your net salary which must include an element of spousal maintenance. Whether this is justified depends entirely on your respective earnings. If she has a very good pension that suggests a good job, and that in turn implies good earnings or earning potential.

As to the house and pension - well, these negotiations usually come down to a horse deal. You don't mention if you have a pension, and that is a relevant consideration. As to the house, you could try and argue that, if you are foregoing a claim on her pension, you want a larger share of the equity to compensate. If your wife has a good earning capacity, you might say that she does not need as much as 80% to re-house herself when the kids have grown up, and therefore you ought to get a higher proportion to enable you to buy a house when the kids cease to be dependent., All these are possible lines of argument but without knowing more I just cannot comment. I hope that what I have said may be of some use.


  • Dobber
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04 Jun 07 #568 by Dobber
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Hi mike, I dont have a pension, the reason being is that hers is so good we just paid extra into it to compensate for the rubbish ones available to me at the time. Her pension could of kept us both.

I have used the CSA calc & it spat back £58 pw , Which I feel is a fair deal concidering my takehome wage & the cost of living here. I always spend a bloody fortune on the kids when I have them aswell lol, We both know our kids wont go without as we both have very close familys who always help out. I think all this is her being greedy as she was always a bit tight with money.

One of my main concerns now is that I have got wind that she only wants to give me 10% of the equity now & the remainder out of her pension when it matures. This is TOTALLY unaceptable as I will not be able to buy anything with that. I can only afford a small house now & when I meet someone else odds on they,ll have kids so it,ll only end up being rented & used as a pension for me in my latter years.

What puzzles me is, when the marrige ended , I left with just my clothes , packed into a car & now live in a bedsitter. She has got absolutley everything & does not want to change her lifestyle one bit. I,m back in the same position now as I was 20 years ago when I left home, I have,nt got a pot to pi55 in. I know shes got the kids but she aint lettin up on nothing,Our kids will never go without & will always have a close family nearby even if she gives me what I want, She,ll be able to afford it now let alone Sept when she goes full time !! how on earth can this be right ?


  • DownButNotOut
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04 Jun 07 #569 by DownButNotOut
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OK here goes....

based on the info provided i would think it likely that the capital split (60k house equity) would come out at around 70%/30% in her favour purely because of the kids.

In view of her income due to rise to above yours then i cannot see any chance of spousal maintenance..so you would just need to pay the child maintenance as per the CSA calc.

You can make a claim on her pension and may well get around 30% of it (close to 20k).

You say you dont want it but - if i were you i would stake a claim to it - you are losing out on the house (less than 50% of that) so even it up a little by getting some of the pension.

What is the hardest nut to crack here is that she needs to give you 30% (20k) of house but maybe cannot afford to re-mortgage for an extra 20k - but that should be considered.
With her salary increase and all the benefits available for kids, child benefit, childd tax credit etc she may be able to do it.

So in summary of the total 120k assets (house + pension) i think its not unreasonable for you to expect 40k of that.
The challenge is to get any immediate payout - you could end up with 20k in a pension and 20k on a mesher locked in house until kids leave home.

The thing working in your favour is that she has a reasonable income and court may take the view that she can afford to buy you out.

  • DownButNotOut
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04 Jun 07 #570 by DownButNotOut
Reply from DownButNotOut
Just to add that your line of arguement here is that the courts have a duty to try and house both parties so that you have a place to live where your kids can come and visit you. Yes the kids (and therefore the Parent With Care) come first - but whereever possible (and her salary makes it possible) - they should house both parties.

  • Dobber
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05 Jun 07 #599 by Dobber
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Well , got some good news (ish) today in that she may have found a lender to buy me out. Only prob is it cant happen till end of the year to avoid the early repayment penaltys on the current morgage. By then we will have been well & truely divorced. Agggh its just a waiting game , My prob now is that the house prices are rising monthly whereas the amount I can borrow is,nt !!! still stuck between a rock & a hard place !!1 lol


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