I never understood how separating couples could not resolve things amicably etc. In three weeks my x2b has destroyed every feeling I had for her and any desire for a reconciliation. I can quite understand now how bitter these things can get and I am trying hard to stop it getting so, but she is not the person I married - very alarming to see a side of someone you have not seen before after 13 years of marriage and some more than that living together.
Hi Canary. Yes it is common. I liken it to the feeling of being disposed off. I also felt as if I was being cast off and she didnt give a sh1t about me anymore dispite loyal service for 12 years. But thats people for you. Once you have out lived your usefulness you are history. Chris.
Hi Canary, you are so right. The women you married is simply not the same as the one you are divorcing.
My wife of 15 yrs next week is no longer my wife, she is a lying, deceitful, sad individual who had it all going for her and is now simply someone who sadly lives at the same address as me. We are now negotiating the finances for a divorce and as such I have no feelings for her at all. She is the one having the A and pulling the plug and that still annoys me.
It is nearly impossible to be reasonable but we have to try. I still cannot believe that they can have an affair, can choose to walk away with 50%+ of everything after having done frankly bugger all in the last 10 years and we are supposed to be dignified about it.
mine has changed a few times over the months, initially when she was disposing our marriage she was so cold & calculating it was a side of her i never new existed & will never forget.
However when she realised that i wasn't just going to roll over & let her get her own way she softened towards me & we get by in the house ok.
She has now realised the scale of her decision & is trying to come to terms with a life of renting,living off revenue handouts to supplement her low part-time income. I don't think she gave anything much thought from the start, she just wanted rid of me,but she now knows that she will have to also wave goodbye to our children for a minimum of 3 nights a week as they will live with me.
Of course when i mentioned that this would give her more time to re-train or work extra hours, she just gave me a dirty look.
We get on well though now, i think she has grasped that its important to do so for our childrens sake.
Luckilly we have been able to agree finances & childcare between ourselves so the divorce is just a paper exercise.
I still can't help feeling sorry for my children, they deserve to be in a functioning happy family with mom & dad. My ex2b has decided its not for her, she wants to be free of me & have time to go out as she pleases with mates from work.