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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Husband Lying in Petition for Divorce

  • soulruler
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16 Apr 12 #324146 by soulruler
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I agree with the posts and ifonlyyouknow.

There are some solicitors out there who deliberately go out to make things contentious as the more contentious things are the more money they make out of the Ancillary Relief process - you will get a divorce anyway but the divorce and the money are separate issues in UK Courts.

There is a lot going on in Uk Courts right now regarding matrimonial assets, contracts, trust law and company law and UK Judges who are paid a salary (not on a sort of commission which is the basic truth of solicitors representation) are, I believe, acting in an attempt to protect the majority (which includes some bad solicitors and al the judges sitting in UK Courts - we are after all part of the one same group - i.e. members of UK society and society at large - including other countries).

Sorry if this is a bit heavy for one of your first posts and welcome to Wiki.

  • somuch2know2
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16 Apr 12 #324159 by somuch2know2
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I wouldnt take it to heart
The adulterer CANT file for that reason... on you could. So the next option is UB.

You could cross, but whats the point? Outcome will be the same and you will get divorced. Plus if you cross it costs more money and delays the whole process.

I am also guilty of this, my ex crossed and countered and I accepted. Truth is, I dont care what the reason ticked on the box is, I just dont want to be married to her.

Might I suggest mediation for finances and kids? Saves a lot of money and torment-

  • maisymoos
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16 Apr 12 #324178 by maisymoos
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Snap same happened to me!! ,although hard to swallow it really isn''t worth it. Costs were estimated at £10k for cross petitioning. This is an area where your head needs to rule your heart. Sign the Petition but as Perin says, state do not agree with reasons given but that you do agree that marriage has irretrievably broken down.

  • julesgy
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16 Apr 12 #324303 by julesgy
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hi everyone
well SNAP again - i have been married for 33yrs and my stbx has filed for divorce on the grounds of UB - and hes the one that has lied and cheated during the marriage, he admitted that he has no grounds to divorce me so the solicitor and him put together that since Oct 2011 there has been no love respect and intimacy from both parties and therefore he cannot be expected to remain married to me !!! what a joke he is the one that has no love or respect for me and the reason no initmacyis because hes going elsewhere !!!! and hes been doing that for 4years while i have clung on to the hope of sorting things out because i still love him (i dont like him in fact despise him for what he has put me through these past years) my solicitor has said that i can put a reply in to put my side of the story if you like which i will be doing - it hurt like hell reading the lies - but you never know karma may just be waiting in the wings xx
take care everyone

  • cherish68
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16 Apr 12 #324346 by cherish68
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All the above is great advice. Its not easy to remain calm when all about you appears a mess. You know the truth about your relationship and so does your ex - the difference is he will have to live with his lies. A little while ago someone gave me some great advice which was - silence is golden -. Stay focused and dont give your ex the satisfaction of knowing he has got to you. In time you''ll be able to look back on this ugly episode in your life with your self respect intact - chances are your ex wont. Good Luck.

  • LittleMrMike
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16 Apr 12 #324350 by LittleMrMike
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A form of words which I sometimes suggest to posters on this form is

The Respondent does not admit the truth of the allegations in the Petition but accepts that the marriage has broken down irretrievably. The Respondent reserves the right to dispute the truth of the allegations if they should be raised in other proceedings between the parties.

I don''t think it''s really fair to blame solicitors for doing what the client wants them to do. When a marriage has gone off the boil it usually manifests itself in various forms of hassle, buggeration, and silly beggars , like bickering, pouting, staying out too late, being married to the job etc etc etc. All of them can form the basis of a petition based on UB.

It''s about time our legislators woke up to the reality that we have divorce by consent in all but name, and reduce the period to one year, ( especially in cases where no children are involved ) and stop the pretence that divorce by consent is not allowed.

LMM

  • soulruler
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17 Apr 12 #324416 by soulruler
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I agree Mike, it is all total nonsense and having to state reasons and not being allowed to agree to divorce by consent (which is obviously the most collaborative way to go) is all just a way for the system to abuse the majority and cause untold distress and financial ruination for those unlucky enough to have unscrupulous solicitors or greedy and agressive spouses.

In most divorces there is not enough money to house both parties and stating that one party can remain as well off after divorce by claiming benefits against the state (when in any case the state is all of us and our company is known to be broke - George Osbourne came out and said it recently - we are bankrupt and it is now up to business to sort this out) is totally nuts, does my head in really.

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