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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Other woman

  • Pink Flamingo
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20 Apr 12 #325405 by Pink Flamingo
Topic started by Pink Flamingo

  • jerseygirl100
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20 Apr 12 #325408 by jerseygirl100
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Dont bother naming other woman in divorce petition, just delays everything and increases costs.There if no financial advantage to you in doing so.
Dont concern yourself with what you would like her to know about him it just stops you from moving on in your own life. Equally there is no point in meeting her face to face either.

Good luck

JG x

  • dw1000
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20 Apr 12 #325414 by dw1000
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Hi there,

You''ll instantly hate me because I am "the other woman" in my husband''s divorce case, but hey, I am also the horse''s mouth so I can tell you how it will probably go down in court.

It is highly advisable not to name to other woman. It can get very expensive for you if you do this and also, on an emotional level, you will see documents you really don''t need to see. :(It will make no financial difference whatsoever if you name the other woman. In other words you won''t benefit financially by naming her. In fact it may financially drain you more as the lawyer''s workload will increase, thus costing you ££. The judge will not give you more out of sympathy. There''s no love in court. But you may receive more in your favour if you are on a lower income and your lifestyle will be reduced, which it will be for both parties involved.

The judge will not take into account the other woman but your needs. In our case, my hubby got 40% of the assets and the ex got 60% simply because her lifestyle would be significantly reduced. This was based on my husband''s earnings vs. his ex-wife''s earnings during their 10 year marriage (no kids). Kids make a big, big difference. Focus on your needs. My husband''s ex focused a lot on the infidelity and it cost her. Although she got a larger proportion of the assets, the legal fees were crazy and foolish. And it is unlikely the judge will order your ex to pay for your legal fees. Think of your needs. I know it''s hard because you''re hurt and you feel done in, but I can''t emphasize that enough. Hope this answers your question.

  • flowerofscotland
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20 Apr 12 #325420 by flowerofscotland
Reply from flowerofscotland
Hi Pink Flamingo,

I named the OW and damn I felt better for it. I had all the proof in e-mails etc etc... I can sleep at night....can she? Maybe not since my STBX has moved on to OW No 2 or is it 3, I have lost count!

Do not go on hearsay alone, you have to have hard solid proof that he can not deny, which of course my STBX could not! Ohh and the fact that I actually caught them together was all the proof I needed!

Good luck and take care for now FoS x

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20 Apr 12 #325423 by dw1000
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I suppose what matters is what you need. And yeah, like the above poster said, she sleeps better at night. And hey, peace of mind is better than money. But if you just want to put it all behind you and get on with your life, get your hands on your rightful assets, I''d just leave out the other woman and move on as quickly as possible, with as much of the assets as I can legally get my mits on, and as few legal fees as poss. That''s my thought anyway.

It''s hard though for you because you''re in the midst of your anger and pain. It''s been 3 years since my husband left his ex and we''ve gotten on with our lives and so has his ex. It all subsides.

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