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Mediation ?

  • scottishlady
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12 Sep 07 #3299 by scottishlady
Topic started by scottishlady
Hi....
I know this may seem like a silly question but it's on my mind and I don't know the answer......
Is mediation compulsory?..... If so... when does it happen?
Sorry for being so dozy:blush:
Karen

  • markp
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12 Sep 07 #3300 by markp
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hi karen
as i understand it mediation is not compulsory as both of you need to agree to go. But if your getting public funding their do require you to try it to keep cost down and if you refuse i was told their may even stop your funding.

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12 Sep 07 #3302 by scottishlady
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Okay Mark.... thanks for that
Yes, I recieve public funding, so I may have to agree to go..... which isn't a problem...
whether my x2b will agree is yet to be seen... but if I agree and he doesn't will this affect my funding?...I'm pretty sure he won't be getting legal aid as he earns too much, so I suppose he might agree (if he thinks it will save him legal costs)... although I'm quite sure we wouldn't be able to reach an agreement
Thanks again
Karen

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13 Sep 07 #3304 by IKNOWNOW
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Hi, Karen

I am getting funding and they advise that you go to mediation. You first go for individual assessments to determine whether you are suitable for mediation. After that the mediator will determine whether it is the right way forward. They will gather information about what you want to get from mediation. I suppose they get a feeling as to whether it will be of use. I expressed my concerns that my x2b would still show me no respect & swear all the time - she said that this would not be allowed to happen. He would be warned & if it continued then she would advise my solicitor that mediation was then inappropriate. Hoping that I can sort the contact for the children out at mediation as I don't want this dragged through the courts. Money can be argued through the solicitors but I want the children sorted sooner rather than later; it is not fair for them not to know what is happening.

Hope my waffle has shed a bit of light.

Kind Regards, Sarah

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13 Sep 07 #3308 by scottishlady
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Hi Sarah...
Yes, that helps.... thankyou
I am still not clear where in the divorce process mediation happens though....
and when you say that the mediator will try to determine what it is I want from mediation, are we talking in general, or are we talking facts and figures? As we have only one grown up daughter we have no children to discuss.... so it will be purely financial...
Is it a case of me saying "I think I should have _______" and him saying "not a chance, I will give you _______"
jeeeeez..... this divorce business is complicated stuff!:huh:
Thanks again
Karen

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13 Sep 07 #3310 by gone1
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Hi Karen. You dont have to take mediation. Depends if you can sit in the same room. I think the initial discusions are around what you are looking to achieve from mediation. As for the money side I think that is the detail and that happens later. Mediation is supposed to be cheaper. I was asked to attend and I declined. I would not lower myself to breath the same air as my ex let alone negotiate with her. I will negotiate though. Chris.

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13 Sep 07 #3314 by scottishlady
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Hi Chris...
I hope you're feeling okay today.
Thanks for that advice....I have to say - I AM worried about actually seeing him again...whether it be in mediation or elsewhere... and I am not sure how I would feel about sitting in the same room with him!!!!.... but as above posters have said - as I get funding it may be 'required' that I agree to it?????
Karen

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