Married 20 years....no children (difficulties conceiving)....moved out of marital home 2 years ago (stbx was seeing someone else)....Decree Nisi issued 1 year ago. Still dealing with financials. marital home on the market for a year but no real interest. Been through mediation but stbx won''t agree to settlement. Have started Ancillary Relief because want to move on with my life. Been with new partner for 12 months and have just found out she is pregnant (medical miracle!). Since leaving marital home have become self employed and earning substantially more now than when I was with my stbx. I am still paying all the mortgage, and joint endowment, a joint loan as well as my new rent and outgoings (as stbx says can''t afford to pay towards them and if I push for her to contribute she is going to apply for pre settlement maintenance order) I can currently afford to pay all the outgoings, but as a matter of principal I think stbx is not moving forward with things because she is practically living in 4 bed detached house for nothing without kids (and I think her new partner has moved in!) I was advised to not co-habit with my new partner (which we had delayed) but now we are in the process of renting a family home (3 bed semi) and I will have all the extra outlay in bringing up a new family. My stbx does not yet know about pregnancy (and I''m sure it will not be pleasant news to hear) but she is dragging this out and pulling my expenditure to bits (as I earn more than her) in a hope she will get spousal maintenance.......can''t find any advice on long divorces without kids, please help.
Stbx has own hairdressing business (which I bought 2 years ago cash outlay £47k).....unable to determine currently monthly income, but she has disclosed £1600. Although from experience it''s very much a cash business. She has had business valued at £18.5k for mediation purposes (takings not goodwill included)
MPS -spousal maintenance? Not yet, but she is applying for it.
marital home value £335k....o/s mortgage £190k (I''m still paying mortgage pymts in full)
My pension pot £300k
Her pension pot £42k
Joint Endowment £34k (I''m still paying)
Joint Loan £13k (I''m still paying)
I fairly offered 90/10 on cash and 70/30 on pensions (in her favour) and she''s turned it down on several occasions. I''ve been transparent throughout and amicable to discuss her needs, but she is being very awkward. Not allowing viewings on the house etc and keeps saying she is going for spousal maintenance. I''m worried what my rights are.
Solicitors costs are high already, but if she doesn''t just agree to a settlement it could cost a fortune and I just want to move on
What is she actually asking for? what is her stated need for SM?
You may fall into a trap here, you`ve been gone for two years but your still paying it all, if you end up in court your showing you can afford to pay this, your also accepting she needs it by paying it all, and of course there is no reason what so ever why she would negotiate, why would she when your paying all the bills.
She gave reason that she''d always relied on my income...ie I earn more, she earns less, so she''s entitled to it.
I considered not paying the outgoings and through solicitors advised she had to take responsibility for at least the utilities at the marital home and she has been paying these since dec2011.
I have since requested she take joint responsibility for contributions towards the mortgage payments and she has not hit me with the threat of an application for pre settlement maintenance because I CAN afford the payments.
I''m at a loss....I just want it over now (especially my new partner is pregnant) I''ve even considered letting her have everything, but my solicitor has said the court won''t agree to it as I''m not bring fair to myself.