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can she just take the kids

  • isisdave
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25 Jul 12 #345402 by isisdave
Topic started by isisdave
can she just take kids?

Hi,hope someone can spare a few minutes to give me their thoughts on this.
I am not married, been living with my partner for 9 years,in my house.We have four kids, ages 9,6,3, &1. She has taken them to the other end of the country, to her parents, and says,thats it, its over. Says we will have to sort access once things have settled.
Can she do this?
Just take them from their dad, school, home?
Any advice much appreciated

  • fairylandtime
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25 Jul 12 #345405 by fairylandtime
Reply from fairylandtime
Hi welcome to wiki

What a horrible story, not sure I can advise but just wanted to pass on my (((hug))) to you.

Even though you were not married I think that you have PR as (guessing here) I expect you will be on your children''s bith certificates.

But not sure how it all works, hope that Fiona will not be far behind me in answering your query as she is very knowlageble in this area.

Stay strong JJx

  • jslgb
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25 Jul 12 #345408 by jslgb
Reply from jslgb
You need to find out if you have parental responsibility for the eldest as if i remember rightly things were done slightly differently back then.

Has she taken all hers and the childrens belongings? Has she expressed she isnt returning home? Could she be expecting you to move out over the summer so she can return?

Realistically she can do it as she already has. Its where you go from here that makes the difference. Try and keep the lines of communication open and not let your feelings get involved. Someone will be along to give you a more legal point of view but in the meantime you''ve found a fantastic support network here and we''ll help you through it all!!

  • u6c00
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25 Jul 12 #345415 by u6c00
Reply from u6c00
I''m sorry for your situation.

In essence, yes she can do it, and you can try to fight her f you choose.

Quick question, who was the primary carer?

  • Now Gone From Wiki
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26 Jul 12 #345475 by Now Gone From Wiki
Reply from Now Gone From Wiki

You might want to look at this site below to read up whether you have parental responsibility.


Can you say where she has moved them from and to? If she has moved them out of England/Wales to Scotland or somewhere else then it becomes a little more complicated.

I don''t know the personalities involved or what caused the action but if you believe it genuinely is ''the end'' then there are a number of things you could do;

1. Engage a mediation service to quickly sort out access (well, these things are never truly quick).

2. Download form C100 and launch a Contact Order (which will ensure you have access) or a Residence Order (that will aim to have the children with you). You should also consider putting in a prohibited steps order to stop her removing the children from their school or from removing them from the country (ie England/Wales) if you think that is a risk.

3. If you want to return the children home then you must also write to the school to prevent them removing the children from the school roll. If they are removed it will make it less likely the courts will return the children as they have no school to go to. Write to the Headteacher and tell them you have parental responsibility (if you do) and that you are placing the matter in the hands of the court and that you request that the school does not remove the children from the school roll without your written permission or a court order.

I am sure others will come in with opinions and advice on this topic and I am sorry to hear this has happened. If you can provide a bit more background to your situation then there might be further things you could do.

  • u6c00
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26 Jul 12 #345480 by u6c00
Reply from u6c00
If you were the primary carer, you could make an emergency application to the court for your children to be returned to you.

If you were not the primary carer (which unfortunately is the case with most couples, man works full time, woman works part time and is primary carer) then that is unlikely to be successful.

  • isisdave
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27 Jul 12 #345648 by isisdave
Reply from isisdave
Hi, thanks for the quick reply. Just to fill you in a bit more, the move is all within england, from north to south, about 270 miles. To her parents, who are despaate to have kids with them. I feel that they are fuelling the problem. I made sure i had PR for older child, and think it was automatically on birth cert for younger ones.
I am not primary carer, as i,m self employed, but was very hands on.I was here when they got on school bus, and back home by time they got home, most of time, as partner struggled to cope with the four of them on her own.
Hope that fills in the blanks.
I rang to speake to kids yesterday, and they said they wanted to come on a long planned camping trip with me next weekend, then she came on phone and said, unless i agreed to return them to her parents home, then i would not be allowed to see them!

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