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Advice Please...

  • Alicat
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24 May 07 #378 by Alicat
Topic started by Alicat
We have been to see a solicitor today and are not too sure about the advice given. Could i ask for your opinion's/advice...?

My partner left his wife in October last year and we began seeing each other in January of this year, his wife also started a new relationship around the same time. Now despite being advised by mediators not to, his wife has started proceedings with a solicitor to divorce him on the grounds of adultery.

Now i know that it is adultery even though they are seperated, but we though it best to seek the advice of a solicitor, which we did this morning.

The advise was to send a letter back saying that he would sign the admission of adultery form if they would not seek costs, and that we should send this letter not the solicitor as otherwise it would only cost us alot of money. That as there are no assets, the children are 18, 16 and 13 and all there are to worry about are matrimonial debts of about 18K, that it would be a simple and easy divorce.

Thing is we feel that his wife is out to punish hom and will try and make him pay one way or the other, and tried to explain this to the solicitor but it seemed to us that the solicitor was not really interested in taking our case, and we do not feel that we have been fully advised.

So shouold we go with this advise or find another solicitor.?

Thanks for any advise..

  • wikivorce team
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24 May 07 #379 by wikivorce team
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I think the solicitor's advice is pretty sound re:agreeing to admit adultery if no costs are sought.

You are not placed at any significant disadvantage as far as the rest of the financial settlement goes by admitting to the adultery.

You say there are no assets - fair enough. Does he have no pension? If he does she could claim a share of that and would very likely get it if there are no other assets.

But the potential exposure your partner does have are the claims for maintenance.

child maintenance is payable up to age of 19 and with three kids it will be 25% of his net income.

Also if he earns a lot more than her (which he may well do if there are 3 kids) then she could also claim spousal maintenance (this all depends on how much they each earn which you have not told me).

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24 May 07 #380 by PETAL
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Going to another solicitor will not help you. Costs will Spiral.

I am the petitioner in my divorce and I said I would not ask for costs if he paid hald of divorce court fee. He wrote the cheque it bounced I ended up paying and still the application shows not applying for costs even though it was a breach in contract.

My hairdresser who is devorcing has a wife who is cross petitioning and is nearly 3 years and no divorce or agreement. mediation/ high costs and anguish / no settlement is all they have.

Adultery doesnt mean that anyone is entitled to more. I would sign the papers and try to settle out of court.

My wage is not huge and my solicitor bills are £1000 a month to £2500 for my first court hearing. 15 month down the line and no settlement.

Could have had a months holiday a new car lets see what else with silly solicitor fees. Dont go down that road I know its frustrating but believe me its not worth the fight.B)

  • Alicat
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24 May 07 #382 by Alicat
Reply from Alicat
Hi Guys,

Thanks for that. yeah he does have a pension, been paying into it for 6 years. And his eldest child is 18 and in full time work now - the solicitor said that they would not be able to claim anything for this child, was that incorrect then.?

Also as far as spousal maintenance goes he already pays £320 per month (he got this figure from the online CSA calculator as his wife does not want to go to the CSA), and £287 per month which is his 1/2 of the matrimonial debts. The solicitor told us that she would be unlikely to get any maintenance for herself as this would be to assist her to pay the debts, which he already is paying 1/2 of. he earns about £27k a year and she works part time and earns about £6k i think.

  • Dockley
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24 May 07 #383 by Dockley
Reply from Dockley
Your situation sounds very similar to mine in respect of time frame but luckily by the time I met my new partner the wife had already been to solicitors on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. My experience of solicitors has found that they do vary in assistance/interest in your case. The wife's solictor was a partner in the firm and a personal friend of hers so from the word go in Jan 2006 I was receiving letters once a week and her sol even used to ring me at home!My own solcitor never seemed really interested and a year on we had reached no negotiations and just been back and forth with letters, the wife is of the same mind fact as your partners....out to screw him for every penny, but solicitors are only interested in facts that are relevant to the law so you could end up caught up in months of back biting and thousands of pound bills. Anyway 14 months later her solicitor died and I moved to a new one. Old bill was for £2500 and the new one is already £2500 since Feb (we start at court in June). The majority of opinion is let it go and dont fight back, but someone has to. Its far too easy for people to run away with things under the umbrella of legal aid.Yes I am wasting thousands in solicitors fees but so is she.If the wife was the tiniest bit reasonable I would not have instigated court proceedings but she isnt.
I really hope you get help from this site and that things dont go the same way for you
Good luck

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24 May 07 #384 by wikivorce team
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No child maintenance will be payable for eldest if he is 18 and in full time work.

So he should be paying 20% of net income.

Whether she would get maintenance or not is uncertain (unfortunately the law is quite vague on these things - there is no hard and fast rule)

The 287 you mention is not going to her, it is going from him to the people he owes money to. So i'm not sure i totally agree with the solicitors view on that one.

I would hazard a guess that his wife will apply for ancillary relief and apply for a share of his pension and spousal maintenance.

As I say - whether she will get the spousal maintenance is not certain (though at 6K vs 27k) and two kids to support i would say she has a chance.

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