I am fuming!

Hi all,
I need help!I am a hardworking mother of three and I have been marroed for 19 years. Within the last eight years, acquired three properties,two as investment properties and we all live in one. I pay the mortgages for them all, take care of the family without any financial contributions from my husband, he's now asked me to put his name on the deeds of all the houses and that if I don't immediately, he's going to put charges on them, collect part of my pension and divorce me so that he gets 50% of everything. And oh, he's not interested in keeping the kids. Whatever happens, I want the kids with me anyway. I have asked for financial help several times, he's always complained about not having any money. In the past, he's spent my money and sold off some of my things, so it is difficult to trust him.He's tight, his business is failing so he's desperate. He's written to a solicitor. I am very angry, what can I do now?

If he's been deceptive (with money) in the past; putting his name on the Deeds should NOT be done!

If he's using divorce as a threat, then call his bluff! (It sounds like he's lining up his share of your assets already with his Deed request) and would probably file after you'd assigned half to him legally!

In divorce, it all has to be declared, into a 'Pot'. From this pot it gets divided.

He does have matrimonial home Rights, to the marital home which you occupy. However, he has no automatic 'right' to have his name on the other properties.

Get legal advise just to assertain your own rights. Although if it does come to divorce, each of the parties 'needs to be rehoused' will be looked at. Having three properties will obviously address such 'needs'. There could be a possibility he'd have the right to occupy one. But at the moment, I would not suggest you add his name.

Thanks very much for your advice. It is appreciated. Like you said, I have called his bluff!!! Though, I paid and still pay for nearly everything, I have never thought that everything we own belong to me. They belong to us, because of the love I have maybe had for him, I have been very generous with him. I helped him to buy his business, paid for him to be comfortable and so on. Right now, he appears to me as somebody who shows or feels no gratitude. I am thinking that - could it be because he has just found out about another child that a one-night stand liaison woman had for him 19 years ago before we got married. He first denied that the child wasn’t his, but they have just done a DNA test recently that revealed that the child is indeed his. All of a sudden now, he has changed to a monster, he is obsessed with his newly found child that he's willing to lose everything, and set up house with her and maybe take another woman. Honestly, I have no problem with him taking care of the child; I probably would have treated her like one of mine. I am all for him taking care of his responsibility but the way he’s going about things is affecting us and financially will not be good for either of us. He’s suddenly turned greedy, petty and nasty. He has given me ultimatums and he’s blackmailing and forcing me to put him on the deeds. He has been deceptive with money before so I am scared because I don’t trust him. I will not give in to his tactics. Hell, I am not putting him on the deeds. I am glad to have found this forum. I need to learn from people that are going through the same thing or have gone through similar problems. I cannot talk to the people that are working for me. Thanks for your advice; I now have an appointment with a solicitor on Monday. The solicitor that he wrote to must have seen the £ signs because of the properties that he’s already discussing mega fees and things with him, I really do hope that I don’t have to pay for him to be able to take an advantage of me. He’s always singing the 50/50 share of assets song to me every day and night. He’s becoming a pest…..