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Divorced twenty years

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1 month 3 weeks ago #512486 by Ersuf
Divorced twenty years was created by Ersuf
Hello

I am currently in the process of making a financial claim twenty years post divorce. I am unsure of the chronology of events. Do I just include events from the relationship? or events that I see as supporting my claim. That is using the idea that marriage is for life and I hadn't considered that my ex would be free to pursue his career unhindered whilst I had to consider our children. I have always worked but having children has impacted my ability to progress in my career. That is my main reason for making the claim now so in my chronology do I put in the events that I feel have hindered my career progression or do I present that verbally to the judge when in court?

Any advice would be grateful as I am representing myself

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1 month 3 weeks ago #512489 by hadenoughnow
Replied by hadenoughnow on topic Divorced twenty years
How long was the marriage? How many children did you have? Are any still dependent?

What year was the Decree Absolute obtained? I assume you have not remarried.

What assets did you have in sole or joint names at the time of divorce?

Have you had any legal advice?

Financial settlement on divorce is based on needs first -for housing and income, now and in the future.

There was a case a few years ago when a couple had divorced many years earlier with nothing to split and he had gone on to be a multimillionaire. She was awarded enough to buy a modest house.

Depending on the circumstances, you may be able to seek a share of any assets still held, this may include pension if there is one. I would strongly advise that you get a legal opinion on the case, especially if Forms E have been exchanged and you have some figures to work with. You might like to look at the fixed price services we offer for litigants in person. Give the helpline a call.

're chronology. This is usually a simple list of key dates relating to the marriage.

So dates of birth, cohabitation, marriage, birth of children, purchase and sale of property, divorce proceedings, cessation of child maintenance, date of Form A, date of Form E exchange, date of f first appointment.

It is to give the judge a snapshot of the timeline. If you are in the court process you should be producing a Statement of Issues -a list of the things you need the court's help to sort out. This may be anything from property valuation to pension sharing. You can also raise a questionnaire based on what he has declared in Form E.

Hadenoughnow

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1 month 3 weeks ago #512495 by Ersuf
Replied by Ersuf on topic Divorced twenty years
Thankyou. That is really helpful. Our children are grown
My case rests on the notion that marriage is for life. I did not claim what I was entitled to at the time of our divorce and because I took care of our children, and I wanted to, I was unable to pursue a career and so make the same wage as my ex was. That's the basis of my case. I had very little maintenance from him, again, my decision at the time. It was very emotional and there were other emotional factors at play at the time , plus my ex pleaded with me not to take his pension and would tell me stories of women who had taken exes to the cleaners. Emotional blackmail. I already had guilt because it was me who wanted to end the relationship. Maybe a judge isn't interested in this??

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1 month 3 weeks ago #512536 by hadenoughnow
Replied by hadenoughnow on topic Divorced twenty years
What assets were there between you when you left the marriage?

There is no such thing as compensation for a failed marriage.

If there were assets then there may be scope for a settlement based on those. This may include pensions.

I would strongly suggest that you invest in some legal advice. We offer a fixed price legal financial consultation that would allow you to get advice based on the financial disclosure you have and the circumstances of the marriage and divorce. Give the helpline a call.

Hadenoughnow

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1 month 3 weeks ago #512538 by Ersuf
Replied by Ersuf on topic Divorced twenty years
Hello and thanks

Yes there were assets. Two joint savings accounts, his redundancy from the NCB, he paid into the BRASS share scheme, had other shares and a pension.

I am sorry if I implied compensation: what I meant to say was that he was left to go off and work everyday, I had to retrain (university fees I am still paying) an dI wasn't able to pursue my career as fully because I had our children and I was 40 when I qualified and the advertisements for teachers are not aimed at forty year old who are newly qualified. I di attend three interviews but didn't get any. Stayed on supply because one of our children suffered anxiety and emotional difficulties and found school difficult: so I didn't apply for anymore jobs because I needed the freedom to decline work and be with our daughter should she have needed it and she did. Hence, I am now in a position where I have a zero hours contract and that is I believe because of the needs generated form our marriage: Our two children?

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1 month 3 weeks ago #512539 by hadenoughnow
Replied by hadenoughnow on topic Divorced twenty years
You clearly should have something. There should have been a settlement at the time. When the children were dependent your needs were greater.

The trouble is that a lot of water has gone under the bridge. If you can prove what there was you may well be able to argue successfully for a share - particularly of pension accrued during the marriage. You may also be able to have housing needs taken into account. I think a lot will depend on how the matter is presented, his current circumstances and yours. As i said, i think it would be useful to have a legal opinion and some guidance on how best to present this.

Hadenoughnow

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1 month 2 weeks ago #512545 by Ersuf
Replied by Ersuf on topic Divorced twenty years
Met in 1983, moved into our home in 1989, married in 1992, divorced 1999
Shared equity in house, ex kept everything else, me and our children moved into a council house and rented, I later purchased and paid the mortgage
Received £100 per month from ex, child support, for the whole time he paid it, no increase he had a key to our house and helped with childcare when job allowed, I shouldered responsibility for our kids
we holidayed together each paying 50%, he stayed over at Christmas, he came to see the kids whenever he wanted to, I spent any excess disposable income on making our house
liveable, nothing left over for pensions and savings, ex free to work and build up his pension
and savings, I went to university in 2001, still paying loan, not free to pursue career, now on zero hour contract, no job security and little prospect of getting employment ( adverts ask for energetic, dynamic.. not adjectives you associate with a 57 year old) other than supply work. went for a pre interview visit to a school about 6 years ago, first thing head said to me was' you must be my age', didn't apply for the job!
didn't pursue claim at time of divorce, very emotional, my dad had been diagnosed in 1997 with chromnic leukemia,
with a prognsi that he would probabl have 5 years, he died in 2002
My ex begged me not to take his pension would tell me stories from work colleagues of women who ha take men to the 'cleaners'
Not in same emotional place, I have had counselling and bee on and off medication 2008- 2019, hence why I now want to pursue claim

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