I think the key will be how much was put into pension between the years 1989 to 1999, and how this figures against the share of the house that was split at the time. I assume the house equity was split equally at the time?
Yes the only thing we split was the equity in the house. It wasn't that much. I used my portion, along with loans, when I was at university. I know I left him with over 30,000 in the bank and shares and he paid into Brass, Railtrack's share saving scheme. And, although we divorced in 2001, we actually had a relationship, not in the 'normal' sense, but he came to our house everyday he wasn't doing anything else, we holidayed together, he stayed at Christmas and I used to run him around, fetching him home late at night from the pub, until he met someone in 2010 then he just stopped coming, which I understood. The point I think I am trying to make is that maybe I could argue that our relationship didn't actually end until 2010? At several junctures between 1999 (when we actually separated) until 2010, getting back together was broached. It wasn't really a option though.
The only thing to consider is there might not be as much to split as you anticipate, so expectations may need to be managed (unless you know otherwise).
Similar to your situation, I have a relationship with my ex but not in the "normal" sense too, so it might be more common than we imagine. At some point you will need to discuss with your ex so I hope you find resolution.
By the way, well done on going back to University and getting qualified, don't stop applying for jobs you are qualified to do! The way I am going I will never retire and do not intend to, fortunately I love my work!
Hi and thankyou for your response. My ex paid his new partner cash for half of a four bed house and paid cash for a house he rents out. He retired last year at 59 and was living without his pension and still is, I think. This is a stumbling block for me because legislation providing for pension sharing wasn't enacted until December 2001. I applied for a divorce before the new legislation. He is far better off than I am.