Consensually varying a court order

After our third hearing we were issued with a court order. This amongst other things ordered our house to be sold/proceeds to be divided and pension division.

House is now under offer and my ex has found a new property but it's financially tight. Through the court order she is entitled to 3% of one of my pensions. She would rather take that as additional equity rather than pension share. I'm happy for that. Do we need to get the court order legally varied? Or can we do it with an exchange of letters and avoid the legal costs? Thanks

I’d be inclined to just leave it as it is and if her choices make her finances a bit tight for a while that up to her.

You could get the court order amended and let your ex pay the costs of the application as it is for her benefit. No need for you to incur any legal costs.

A couple of months ago you were asking for advise as your ex wouldn’t budge on the asking price of the house and it wasn’t selling. Now she wants to change it for her advantage.

I don’t know what 3% of your pension is value wise, and it does seem odd that the court has awarded such a small % rather than leaving it alone, but you don’t want her coming back later for it.

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply.

I guess the way I am looking at it is this. As you say she has been tricky during the sale process (she absolutely does not want to sell, and I pay all of the mortgage (in lieu of child maintenance) as directed by court, but will on sale pay significantly less). We have a good offer on the house but she is refusing to accept it as she can’t quite afford the house she wants with equity plus mortgage. This deal - trading pension for more cash - gets it over the line. She has basically said she will decline the offer if she can’t buy the house she wants.

I know this is ‘blackmail’ but my choice is either lose the sale, go back to court say she is acting unreasonably and get the court to put control of the sale in my hands (cost and time for me) or agree to the trade of equity against pension and get the whole thing moving. In reality it’s no skin off my nose and at 57 I’d rather keep a bit more pension as I am going to have to spend money rebuilding it anyway.

We also have 4 kids and I want them settled rather than this drag on.

Really interested in different perspectives on this. It’s tough decision.