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short marriage...what next

  • tucker
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08 Nov 07 #6117 by tucker
Topic started by tucker
I married my girlfriend of 10 years just 3 months ago. she has now left me, saying she is in love with someone else.
what can we do now? I know you have to be married for at least 1 year before you can get a divorce in the uk...what options are there for us?

  • OBEs 1 canoodly
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08 Nov 07 #6118 by OBEs 1 canoodly
Reply from OBEs 1 canoodly

Simple as!! (I think)

Also if you bought more to the marriage financially you would get to retain that for such a short marriage.

I'm sure someone more qualified than me may make further observations.

Good luck for your future, I am so sorry this has ended in this way for you but chin up sometimes things are meant to be and who knows she may have saved you a great deal of heartache over the next few years if staying with you would have been living a lie!!

OBEs 1

  • mike62
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08 Nov 07 #6124 by mike62
Reply from mike62

As you rightly point out, you need to have been married for at least a year before divorce proceedings can be issued.

After a year, you could petition for divorce on the grounds of either adultery or unreasonable behaviour.

If your soon to be ex wishes to be difficult about a petition on the grounds of adultery, you have a strong burden of proof to achieve. If she is unlikely to contest, then that may be your option.

If it looks like it may be awkward to pursue adultery, then unreasonable behaviour is your best bet.

If you want to make it really amicable, you could wait for two years and go for a 'no fault' divorce by mutual consent.

As OBE's says, with such a short marriage, you should take out what you brought in , financially.

On a personal note, I'm sorry to hear of your situation. Ten years is a long time to be together, to find that it isn't what she wanted.

Take care, you are amongst friends here.


  • tucker
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08 Nov 07 #6125 by tucker
Reply from tucker
Thanks for your replies.

What kind of proof do I need of adultery? I'm pretty sure (not that you ever can be!) that her new relationship isn't going to work out (He has a wife and 2 kids...one of which is only a few weeks old). So by the time a year passes I think her story will have changed..
As to taking out what you brought in to a short marriage - that may not work out well for me..as she earns over double what i do. We currently have a mortgage together on the flat I'm now left in. does anyone know what rights I have there..?

Thanks again

  • tucker
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08 Nov 07 #6126 by tucker
Reply from tucker
..Also probably worth mentioning that she claims she hasn't slept with him.. (whether this is true or not I don't know, but I thought it should be mentioned)

  • loobyloo
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08 Nov 07 #6128 by loobyloo
Reply from loobyloo
as said prob saved a lot of heartache and hassle down the line! you could go down path of anullment!!! It can be done... where did you marry does she want divorce did you well you know complete the wedding night thing.. there are a lot of options not always cut and dry each case different... good luck...looby

  • Sera
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08 Nov 07 #6129 by Sera
Reply from Sera
Although there is a short term marriage clause, both parties have the right to look at the entire period of their relationship, and their contributions.

Since you have a ten yr relationship prior to the actual marriage, you have joint assets etc, then I imagine on a Financial side - that would be dealt with and your 'needs' considered pretty much as any other marriage.

If you post up more financial detail, equity in house etc, mortgage, incomes, pensions, ages, kids? etc - then you'll get a better response re: the likely financial resolution.

However, it sounds like you don't want your marriage over, (mine is short term also, but I made us considerably wealthier over the last 2.5 yrs). It's likely that if she is the greater earner, and possibly stands to lose on assets she put in, likelehood is she won't contest a divorce petition, and may herself want 'out' asap!?

It could be a hiccup!? Maybe get some help through Relate?

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