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weird behaviour of x2b since decree nisi granted.

  • topaz
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11 Nov 07 #6423 by topaz
Topic started by topaz
am I alone in this or have others experienced since Decree Nisi granted weird behaviour from their soon x2b as follows.suddenly asking me out socially to pub,for meals out, sending polite e mails, asking how I am.do I need help? sending me cards wishing me luck halfway point etc.and now buying gifts.is it so that he could influence how much % of assets I'M GOING TO FIGHT FOR? does he think he'll influence me now after being the biggest B.... on the planet.it doesn't change my mind but it's so weird!!!

  • Onelife
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12 Nov 07 #6433 by Onelife
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Hi Topaz

I have exactly the same thing going on...

mine sends me emails wishing he could turn back time, sends texts saying "there's a single man at the end of drive for you" and invites me round for a glass of wine. When I declined, he kept saying "go on - just one"... He invited me for Sunday roast the last weekend he had the children, and again I declined saying I couldnt make it, but then he offered to delay the meal so I could make it, so I went, I didnt feel I could keep refusing. We were supposed to be sitting down to discuss our finances last tuesday, but instead he wanted me to go to his to listen to our records that he'd been sorting from the 80's, when we met. Odd isnt the word. Needless to say - I declined, politely. He still came here for the meeting, but laid into me verbally within seconds of sitting down, even when I sat before him falling apart/crying, he carried on. Hugely confusing after all that "niceness". He sent a text apologising for his behaviour after the event, but couldnt explain why he treated me like that.

Some people reading your thread might think "he's making an effort to get along, move your relationship on to a new level" - My experience would advise you to be cautious. I dont want to tarnish your extb with the same brush as mine, but my extb does like to "lure" me into a false place of friendship, even hinting he's made a mistake and tests the waters of reconcilliation, which makes me try to build a new level of trust, and then wallop - he hits me with some new, appalling piece of behaviour and I'm left feeling very foolish all over again. I've now decided I cannot be friends with this man - he's made it impossible. I am polite, fair and business like now.

If you and your ex are still communicating honestly, maybe he is reaching out in his own way to try and see if the relationship can be salvaged? Sometimes the nisi can evoke feelings "of what the hell are we doing".

I dont know about you, but I am exhausted with mind games - I would just prefer if they have something to say - say it honestly, rather than leave us questioning their motives, and toying with our emotions.

Have you asked him why he has changed his behaviour towards you?


  • Vail
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12 Nov 07 #6440 by Vail
Reply from Vail

Be cautious by all means but welcome the civility! My nisi made no change to the nastiness.

  • Sera
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12 Nov 07 #6452 by Sera
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Onelife wrote:

Sometimes the nisi can evoke feelings "of what the hell are we doing".


My first divorce, ex put me through 18 months of Divorce Hell. The day the removal van came to collect my stuff, (the day we were due to 'complete' on the sale of the house etc) Ex sat at kitchen table crying his eyes out, (he wanted the dicorce to start a new life with Internet woman).... and asked me to re-consider!

When you cease to be a wife, they suddenly see you as a glamorous new woman!

  • Camberwick green
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12 Nov 07 #6457 by Camberwick green
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My x tried to turn back time and win me back after our Nisi, athough I was in another relationship at that time, then when it doesn't come off the get even nastier-so be aware!

They are like a wolf in sheeps clothing

  • Vail
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12 Nov 07 #6458 by Vail
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Perhaps released from the drudgery of a repressive relationship ladies blossom into the glamorous "new" woman they were all along?

  • loobyloo
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12 Nov 07 #6460 by loobyloo
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Reading this makes me feel awful. I must have meant very little to my x2b as do the kids. I moved I asked for divorce and he has never once asked me to reconsider, I think i did what he hadnt the balls to do.. so decided to make my life a misery instead til i cracked.
Take it as compliment that they still want you after all that shows how untouchable and wanted you all are

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