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weird behaviour of x2b since decree nisi granted.

  • Vail
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13 Nov 07 #6530 by Vail
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A word about men,

Men do not have exclusive rights to meddling in the life of an x or trying to excercise some sort of control or manipulation. The only difference I feel is that blokes are on the whole less emotional than women so can tend to do it in a more calculating manner, while it appears to me that women tend to be capable of extreme and spontaneous viciousness.

Anyone want to argue?

Onelife,
Once I've had the hair transplants, the plastic surgery and won the lottery I'll send you my number!

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13 Nov 07 #6533 by Fiona
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I agree, Vail. When it comes to DV I think we need to move away from the position that men are bad and women are good. It seems to me that some women are just as capable of emotional abuse as some men. Repeated verbal abuse (blaming, ridiculing, insulting, swearing, yelling and humiliation) refusing to acknowledge a person's presence, interrogation about their whereabouts and activities, threatening to destroy a person's possessions, withholding contact with children, false allegations of abuse etc are forms of control and manipulation experienced by numerous men.:angry:

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13 Nov 07 #6539 by Sera
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Vail wrote:

Once I've had the hair transplants, the plastic surgery and won the lottery I'll send you my number!


Form an orderly queue Ladeez!

You're both right regarding the issues pertaining to emotional abuse.
I think these threads often start the Men vs. Women dispute
and I think we need to just address the issues that this thread is replying to. A womans confusion at her ex's turn of behaviour since divorce granted.

It still remains fact, that more women suffer abuse. That's not said to add flames to the fire, but there's more written word from support groups for women. That could be because men are (usually) less emotional.

Also us women, (if indeed lest holding-the-kids) will find it much harder to move on, and start a sexual relationship elsewhere. I know my ex is capable of just going on-line and hooking up with someone for sex, or has admitted to many casual adult-recreational flings. But me? I need their dental records, blood group, lineage spanning the last 600 yrs, and I need to court, date, get to know and then, after several months, only then dare hold hands, kiss..so it's a long march to my bedroom, as a lot of women still need to be totally in Love before anyone gets to our inner-sanctum!

Therefore, we still only have the fond memories of our dearly beloved Ex's body.... and that makes us women, more prone to their advances again. Because often the only scource of comfort was from them.

Sera
x
PS: Don't I waffle sometimes!? :P

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13 Nov 07 #6559 by Fiona
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"It still remains fact, that more women suffer abuse. That's not said to add flames to the fire, but there's more written word from support groups for women."


It's true 90% of serious violence is committed against women, but it's difficult to determine the incidence of less serious violence or emotional abuse. The problem with women's groups is they believe everything should be understood within the context of women's oppression. Not everyone agrees. See;-

www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,197550,00.html

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13 Nov 07 #6562 by ladysmith08
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Oh my goodness! I had no idea that there were other crazy x2b out there!

Mine has been exactly the same - so irrational with his moods - one minute texting me apologising for everything, & the next telling me he's going to take the kids and the house away from me, & I'm going to be left with nothing. It's good to hear that other people have gone through the same - I thought it was just me!

I don't know anyone else in the same situation as me - in fact most of my friends are settling down & getting married! I felt that everything that was happening to me was unique to me & my x2b was being spiteful & nasty for the sake of it!

It's so good to read the threads on here, & the replies, & realise that actually, I'm not as totally alone as I originally thought!

(I'm new on here by the way - so please be gentle with me!)

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13 Nov 07 #6570 by Sera
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I just love it when this place helps!

Welcome Ladysmith. Stick around, read our gripes, you're certainly not alone!

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