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blackmailing me!

  • Tracey68
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20 Nov 07 #7145 by Tracey68
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my ex is saying that we need to go to mediation (which i agree on) but is saying it needs to be sorted before out before the family holiday (that he no longer is coming on) a trip to australia all paid for, to see my family,and that unless i agree to only the equity made on this house together, (he made 100k on property he had before we got together) that he will cancell the trip, he would give me about 60k , we're both still in the house he says he has nowhere to go, i have seen a sol and she says i'm entitled to half of everything in the pot, he earns 5k a month i earn £400 and have a 5 year old child together, married for 7 years. i also have 2 children 13 & 15 . what do i do do i agree on this keep my trip get take 60k and start afresh? would i get a mortage as 60k wouldnt buy a 3 bedhouse in this area. i'm hating all this feel like giving in but don't know if i'd be mad, he told me too that if it goes to court he would get the best sol and it would come out of "the pot" is that right?

  • sexysadie
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20 Nov 07 #7151 by sexysadie
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It does sound like blackmail and bullying and I don't think you should give into it. On that pay difference you would be entitled to spouse maintenance at least for a while plus you can probably stay in the house until your 5 year old is grown up.

I assume that his solicitors' fees will come out of his income but someone else may know better.

Sadie

  • topaz
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21 Nov 07 #7165 by topaz
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you mustn't give in to this bullying behaviour, you have too much at stake, you and your children need a home,income etc, 60k wont get you anything.he has a lot to lose financially and he's no fool so he is attempting to control the situation by dangling the hol like a carrot.Who's to say he'd honour his promise of the hol or the 60k.The line between truth and lies become very blurred as do promises at this stage.listen to your sol and don't be intimidated into giving in and putting yourself and your kids in the situation of a very uncertain and possibly financially bleak future. also don't sign away any of your rights until you have taken advice from your sol.

  • Specialdad
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21 Nov 07 #7173 by Specialdad
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It sounds like he is panicking. He will have to pay his legal fees out of his income. You would be entitled to 60/40 with a child and a 7 year marriage. If he doesnt agree to 60/40 get a sol and go to court.

  • 80SGIRLWOKEUP
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21 Nov 07 #7178 by 80SGIRLWOKEUP
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be careful that he doesnt change the locks on you when you go to Oz, check get your tickets passports 2 gether away from him spk to your travel agent he may not be able to cancel
My Barrister told me 18 months ago under no circumstances leave the family home I have 3 kids.
When I took my kids on hols my barrister advised me to change locks and alarm codes which I did He also said only leave house if its burning down!
Dont panic stay strong divorce is a long process however in some respects you need the time to get things in perspective!

  • Tracey68
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21 Nov 07 #7231 by Tracey68
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thanx everyone for being so understanding..i'm alittle afraid as i told him i thougt i was being fair with 50/50 i said ac ourt would probably give us more maybe 70/30 and he went crazy said he would kill me if i did that, we are seeing a meditor next week, i just hope he sees sense, he agreed on 50/50 if i didnt touch his pension or isa's would i be crazy?

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21 Nov 07 #7236 by Specialdad
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Just a thought.

Has he realised that if he killed you he would not see 1% let alone 50%??

Best of luck hope the mediation goes well.

B)

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