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  • Angel557
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22 Nov 07 #7313 by Angel557
Reply from Angel557
I can understand that about protecting your children even though i don't believe in lying to them either but yes there is a thin line , but i was under the impression's max's kids were over 21 maybe i'm wrong does the same apply then when there at that age.

  • TMax
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22 Nov 07 #7316 by TMax
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Yes both are in their 30s both adult enough to know what thier reading is restricited within the family, Xs is giving them a very rough time with abusive phone calls for telling the truthmore os of course when she had her normal fill of alehouses frequentas.

  • Specialdad
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22 Nov 07 #7317 by Specialdad
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I agree with Will C. You shouldnt involve the kids in anything that doesnt require their attention.

After all its hard enough for us lot to understand whats going on without confusing everyone under 18.

I agreed with my ex that we would not discuss anything with the kids unless absolutely necessary and so far I have not been lynched so it must be working!!! B)

  • loobyloo
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22 Nov 07 #7322 by loobyloo
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My kids are well clued up I am totally honest with them, I dont show them the papers etc but they know each court visit and about the basics of divorce
If you dont talk and tell them , would they not surely question the mere fact that their parents live apart!!!
Kids cope better than adults in my experience
they just need love attention and stablity.... so honesty is surely prt of that

  • Louise11
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22 Nov 07 #7329 by Louise11
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Hey hey Max

At least if you are held in contempt of court and get locked up, you will get 3 square meals a day, 23 hours locked in your cell to read as many books as you like, you could become an expert on law! Do a bit of side trading in selling drugs ect and come out a richer man! You could rent your house out whilst your in there, earning some dosh, have medical attention on your doorstep and have a massive rest, away from it all. Look at how many poems you could write.

On a serious note, been there, done it, as in the "kids" writing statements, we entered them in evidence, she objected to them being used as witnessess, (of course she would, it showed up all her lies!) The "kids all came to court and sat next to me! (their Stepmum) nice hey! Whilst she stood opposite sending daggers at them all.
My husband went into court, blah blah blah, when it came to the question of bringing the kids in as witnesses the Judge said " seems to me Mr blah blah, we dont need to see the kids, you seem to have won enough brownie points in here today! He didnt need to use the kids because the Judge could see she was lying and accepted the statements! She tripped herself up big time!
The moral here is "TELL THE TRUTH AND NO ONE CAN TRIP YOU UP! What amazed me in all this was "This lowly paid care worker, who works all hours godsend! (But runs off with a patient she was caring for, or actually walks off cus he was in a wheelchair) thought she could lie before a Judge, a Barrister, a Police officer and numerous Solicitors and get away with it! Surely if she had the same intelligence as those people she would be one of them herself! Silly woman.

Anyway the "kids" in all this were 21, 26 and 28. Adults in their own right, with their own thoughts. But depending on the ages of children I believe they should be told, they should know whats going on, it effects them just as much as the person they are living with! Kids are not stupid and they should not just be seen and not heard! They should be heard over anyone! Let them have their say! If a woman has been badly beaten by her husband, are you telling me the woman will not use the kids evidence if they had seen it happen every night? Or a woman who is verbally abusive to her husband every night but makes out in court shes an angel? Should the kids not have a say in his defence? Of course they should, they have a voice and they should be heard! Ask any teenager in this world what the worst thing about parents and adults is.................the answer will always be "they dont listen to me"! Well thats because we as adults always no best dont we???????? (says with tongue in cheek!)

Kind ones

Chin up Max, let them have their say, bullying pratts! IGNORE them and let a Judge decide if their threats are worthy! (I doubt it will even be mentioned)

  • Camberwick green
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22 Nov 07 #7330 by Camberwick green
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This is interesting, does that mean that when an x2b shows court paperwork, petition etc. to peers, family members and work colleagues, that he/she is actually in contempt of court? The reason I am asking is because my first Husband showed all and sundry what I was accusing him of and I know for sure my x2b will too as he has already done so with other ‘stuff’ to do with our split to get the sympathy vote!

  • Specialdad
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22 Nov 07 #7332 by Specialdad
Reply from Specialdad
I agree Louise you should always tell the truth but kids under 18 are vunerable.

They can be affected by events that can haunt them into adulthood.

So all I say is if you have kids under 18 its best to act like the security services and give them info on a "need to know basis"

Otherwise you could end up with a confused teenager on your hands and believe me you dont want that. B)

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