Fiona and OBE C. I agree with both of you that staying is the right thing todo. But it depends what the situation is like. If the other party is violent or in my case violent and oppresive its best to get out. My health was far more impprtant then money. I couldnt have survived the winter in those condtions and I took the view that my life was worth more than a few quid. So when this place come along August 2006 I snapped it up and paid asking price for it. I will suffer later but I dont care as my health is well on the mend now. So I say it depends.
People get married for all sorts of reasons. In my case my ex wanted to get away from her sick mum. Not that she didnt love her mum. She adored her as did I. But the house was total bedlam with carers and nurses coming and going at all hours. And her kids were suffering becuase of it. So along I came and I got the "he will do" nod.
What OBE says about women is true. I have seen it 1st hand. Women get to a certain age and all the bits start to go south and they can and do look at the bloke they are with and think. What do I see in him and I dont fancy him any more. It happens far more than U think. All it takes is a big event in there lives and wham. Its over. In my ex wifes case she had 3. First was 2001 she had a hystorecomy. Her Mum died 2002 and her dad died 2003. This knocked her for 6 I am sure. I think this is the basis for all the affairs and she is also evil. Good combination. Chris
Chris I agree, physical and mental health are a priority and sometimes one party needs to leave before tackling the settlement. It's good tho' to find out where you stand legally so you can make an informed decision and there are no nasty surprises later. Out of interest did you lose out financially by moving out?
Mind has published a leaflet about how mid life crisis affects both men and women. Note the bit about "some thirty per cent of marriages split up between the ages of forty and sixty, and there are complex reasons for this." Also "research has shown that unemployment and poverty is more likely to influence psychological and physical wellbeing than the menopause." See;
I agree its not the money mainly that splits couples its more to do with feelings.
As we are humans not robots we respond to and respond with feelings and if they do not correspond then we feel as CG says repressed and therefore seek liberation and freedom.
Every emotion has an equal and opposite and the world is in a constant state of flux. How we control ourselves in this state is extremely difficult. Noone will ever get it 100% right though we all have to kkep trying in order for society to function.