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  • Camberwick green
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22 Nov 07 #7371 by Camberwick green
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Hi Ade,

Just to put a Woman’s slant on thing as Obe said, although it may not be the onset of menopause it could be ‘empty nest syndrome’ of which I have felt myself to a degree lately, my two are 13 and 14 and are not in need of looking after as such, and I don’t feel needed anymore.

I would try and get her talking through offering romanticism that may have dwindled over the years. It is amazing how little you think of such things whilst bringing up a family and how much you miss it, re-lighting the fire may be the key.

  • Specialdad
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22 Nov 07 #7374 by Specialdad
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And if firelighters dont work try a can of petrol!!! ;)

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22 Nov 07 #7383 by lilyrose
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I am amazed at the 'menopause' excuse. Just because a woman is over 40 it doesnt mean the menopause is to blame. Ok to a certain degree once the children are grown it does make many women think about what direction their life is going. But perhaps she has just realised that after spending the best part of her life looking after the husband and kids she is entitled to some sort of life of her own. Perhaps your comment about 'still cooking my dinner' might give you some sort of hint. Did it never cross your mind to cook her dinner!

It never ceases to amaze me that some men can be so arrogant to think that there MUST be a third party. You men are so perfect, nothing is ever your fault After all how could a woman who has spent the best part of her life being treat like a 'domestic', have finally had enough and have the audacity to fall out of love with you?

(Please note there is no intention to tar all men with the same brush. I'm sure there are a few decent fellas out there)

  • gone1
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22 Nov 07 #7384 by gone1
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We seen this sort of thing before. Get legal advice mate. This "take you to the cleaners" comes from her I think. You mention buying somewhere and all that you are way out in front. Back up a bit. Go and see a solicitor. This 60 / 40 nonsense is for couples that have small kids. Your kids are grown. This dont apply mate. Its more likely it will be 50 / 50. As for your inheritance its not strictly in the pot. That depends on lots of factors. Just calm down. Dont mention anything and book an appointment. Dont tell her you are going it will just get her all fired up.

Her behavior does look like someoneelsevile. I would check the phone and emails. Its ok mate. Just calm down. Loads of good people on here to give you advice. Chris

  • lilyrose
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22 Nov 07 #7385 by lilyrose
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If you do decide to start checking emails and the phone make sure you do it when you wont be found out. I can guarantee you, nothing will have her spitting blood more than that. To be accused of cheating could be the final nail as far as she is concerned( I speak from bitter experience here, it drove me mad to be spied on when there was absolutley no justification)

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22 Nov 07 #7387 by Specialdad
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Hey Lily I need someone to cook my dinner, fancy the job??? only kidding ;)

Ade. Chris is right, take it easy and seek legal advice on your rights. No one can chuck you out without justification especially if you are one of those few decent fellows that Lily is on about.

Divorce proceedings take a lot of courage and coolness. It really tests you to the limit. B)

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22 Nov 07 #7391 by lilyrose
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Yeah right Specialdad, that would go down well with him in doors, he's so convinced I'm 'at it' (as he so eloquently puts it) I cant even look at another man let alone cook one dinner. And after years of that sort of behaviour,he still cant understand why I dont want to be with him any more

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