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new partner living in marital home?

  • A76
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13 Jun 07 #758 by A76
Topic started by A76
Thanks for everyone's recent help. Am in the process of buying husband out of the house. He hasn't paid the mortgage since november.

If my new partner moved into the house whilst my husband's name is still on the deeds, does he have a say if he lives there or not. we want to have a child together too, would this affect things? My partner's soon to be ex wife says she will not allow his kids to stay in the house - we will go to court to defend this and once my new partner's on the mortgage i assume there's nothing she can do.

basically, can my husband evict my partner?? The two soon to be ex spouses are in constant contact, so i'm sure she will tell hime what our plans are once the houyse becomes his new base.

any help appreciated - this is a very helpful site. thanks.

  • Louise11
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13 Jun 07 #760 by Louise11
Reply from Louise11
Hi A76

In a perfect world, everything with former spouses would be best finanlised before we embark on new relationships.
It seems new partners can only cause more problems than neccessary, in the run upto absolute. But they can also be an invaluable help with support.
In answer to your question....... can my husband evict my new partner? i doubt it very much, have you proof that its you whose paid the mortgage and hes paid nothing since November? but I doubt it would matter much if he had been paying it!
Having your new partner on the mortgage will do nothing to stop his soon ex to be refusing to allow his kids to stay in the house, if you go to court to fight it, you may win, but it will be the battle getting there that will cause you most grief. Most people starting this process seem to think the courts are there to settle all their arguments and all you do is apply and hey presto everything is sorted. I can assure you this is not the case.
You want to have a child together? Thats great, but isnt it better to get everything sorted first with all the other kids, the path you seem to be choosing at the moment is a complicated, at times depressing route, it can be a complete nightmare, i simply cannot tell you how much of a nightmare it can be.
My advice to you is.............
Simply.......... talk, try your hardest to all sit around a table and talk. At the end of the day there are children involved and they should come first, before any of the bickering that WILL take place ruins what is already a stressful time for all.

Please think carefully.
Kind regards
Louise

P.S.. someone else on here maybe able to help more with the legal side of where you stand.

  • tigstheterror
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13 Jun 07 #762 by tigstheterror
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Hiya,i take it your husband has moved out? technically if you're buying him out then he can't stop a new partner moving in when he's moved out,irrespective of who has paid the mortgage recently or not,in the eyes of the law both names are on the deeds so he has rights,but if he's moved on,then no, he can't stop it. As for your partners kids,yes she can say that she will not allow them to stay at your home,unless her ex has an order of equal residence,if he has he can apply to the court to say that she is just being obstinate due to a new relationship and he dosen't agree with her grounds.I take the same stance as Louise11,if this is what she won't allow maybe a talk between her and your partner to make her see how petty and unreasonable she's being? Perhaps for now overnight access should be put on hold until a time everyone is more comfortable,especially the children,afterall they can pick up on the mothers negativity.Myself and my partner are currently beginning this as his ex wants me to have nothing to do with the children when he's at work! Through a solicitor we have reached this stalemate and we are hoping ,intime, to progress to overnight stays.The fact that they can see their father is more important at the moment for them to see he hasn't abandoned them altogether.
As for you wish to have a baby with your new partner,i agree again with the previous posting,i would have thought it best to hold back a little while yet on this one as the children are still coming to terms with whats happened with their parents let alone having to share dad with another sibling.Also this gives his ex more ammo to fire against him and slag him off!! please think seriously on this issue before you leap.you could be in for more heartache if you do it,and this puts a tremendous strain on your relationship,would you be happy to become a single mum if nei ther of you could handle the pressure? i know it sounds harsh,and only you 2 can make the decision,we have no right to tell you what to do!
After all that,i hope you manage to find a middle ground on access and are able to move forward and have quality tie with the children,good luk and take care,Sherri x

  • A76
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14 Jun 07 #782 by A76
Reply from A76
thanks v v much for your advice and help x

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14 Jun 07 #783 by A76
Reply from A76
thanks louise and tigs v much xx

  • Dockley
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14 Jun 07 #784 by Dockley
Reply from Dockley
Hi there,
I agree with answers you have received to previous posts.
Its all too often the case these days that the children left behind after the break up endure particular unneccessary suffering at the hands of the parent they are left with.
It really frustrates me to hear that when a split happens the PWC automatically puts a stop to contact with the dad/mum in order to satisfy their own desire to hurt the other parent.
Children are just that......children
Not weapons to be used
The adults are the ones divorcing or separatin or falling out of love or whatever you want to call it
The children are very much still connected and very much in love with both of their parents, regardless of who left who, who's hurt who etc.
Kids dont just switch off their feelings towards dad because he's hurt mum or mum because she's hurt dad.
Its easier said than done, I know when emotions are running high and their is so much hurt and anger, but for the kids sake, the adults should try to separate their own feelings.
Just because you feel anger/hate towards dad/mum does not mean the kids do or should do
A bit of a rant I know but I have read several post on here already where the PWC is sayin...."no contact with the father/mother at the moment because........blah blah blah" when really its because they are hurt that their ex to be has a new partner!
Hope the soon to be ex wife comes to her senses soon and that you can get this resolved reasonably, good luck

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