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how the hell can he divorce me now

  • shar10
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13 Jun 07 #773 by shar10
Topic started by shar10
Hubby been gone 2mth, says he left because of my accusations nd checking up on him, and basicaly the lack of trust got 2 much. I believed this, and believed there was not another woman involved.
Hes already put in for divorce on grounds of unreasonable behaviour, not had petition yet but had a sol letter statin his intentions.
However, all comes to all, i find out at weekend hes seeing someone, been seen on town kissin her, bank statements show hes been goin in buyin stuff from her work, only the days she been working, for months. Told my kids and family he has feelings for her and likes her, says hes not with her yet but might be. I think what a load of crap.

Anyway, my question is this, i can now prove why i was suspicious, but cant prove adultry, anyone know where i stand on this, im not prepared to accept this. I didnt want a divorce in the first place and was gonna defend it, but now im more determined to see it through but on his grounds of adultry, given the fact he does intend on seeing he. Thing is, hes done the petition before me, im told to expect it nxt wk

The thin i dont understand is, he was in a rush to gt divorce, ive begged n begged to leave it till i finish my degree nxt may, but no, and yet, i say, if your so desparate for a divorce, you will agree to me divorcing you on the grounds of adultry, he says he wont agree. It makes no ense when he wants divorce badly, and intends on a relationship with her.

Can anyone offer me advice plz.

  • ChinUp
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13 Jun 07 #775 by ChinUp
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Shar

as per reply to your previous post have you discussed this with your solicitor? I have little to add to our very long discussion of the other night/morning. I think to go down the road of tit for tat or spite will be very emotionally draining and very expensive. Accept that he wishes a divorce and, hurtful though it may be, who petitions who and on what grounds is, at the end of the day, not hugely important. What is important is your son and your own health and peace.

  • Louise11
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14 Jun 07 #781 by Louise11
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Shar

I couldnt agree more with chinup.
You seem to be destroying yourself, with all the wild things running around in your head Understandable i might add) but you have GOT to get a grip on things, if you dont you are going to be an emotional wreck (if you are'nt already) I know its a terrible thing to find out your partner has been or is going to have a new relationship, but you have got to understand, it doesnt matter who divorces who for whatever reason, if its over its over and you have to move on and make a new life. (I dunno whether i should be admitting this but.......I divorced my husband on grounds of his adultery, he never commited adultery, it was me! but we agreed for me to petition, because i was on wftc and i didnt have to pay!) at that time we just couldnt afford the court fees, at the end of the day all it is is a piece of paper that says you can now move on with your life! Why fight? the only thing that will happen is you will both hurt financially! Your joint wealth and your own sanity will dissapear along the depressive road to freedom!
Please, please stop and think Shar for your own sake and your childs. You need to get a grip of things babes and take stock of the situation your in, keep away from him for the time being, give yourself a chance to come to terms with things before they really run away with you.
You seem to be going over and over the same things and not really listening to anyone, (totally understandable in your situation,) But........ give yourself time and dont rush down the path of fighting just yet!
Come on Gal, be brave, with a little help from us all on here you CAN do this.
Cya soon
Louise

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