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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Helpfull advice needed

  • HarrierGR9
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27 Nov 07 #7840 by HarrierGR9
Topic started by HarrierGR9
My wife and I have finally decided to call it a day after 24 yrs of marriage, a long time and almost impossible for me to see my way through this life changing event. I mean where do you start? We have 24 yrs of ‘stuff’, how do you go about splitting it up?

Having now read a deal of information on ‘how to get divorced’ (also how I found this website), one thing I picked up was just how expensive lawyers are. I have talked to my wife and explained that it would be better to try and sort out any financial arrangements ourselves but have it ‘made official’ once we had come to a decision and try to keep things as amicable as possible. She initially agreed but is now starting to be pretty vindictive, she now says she is going to take me for every penny that she can get, whilst I’m not a rich man I can see what little savings we have being swallowed up in lawyers’ fees.

The thing I am most worried about is of course the house, I spent 25 years in the RAF and did not buy a house until 4 years ago and we have a huge mortgage which we can only afford with our joint incomes.
I don’t know where I stand on providing a place for our daughters to live, one 22 and one 17 (18 in about 6 weeks). The 18 yr old will be going to ‘uni’ in Sept, our 22 yrs old says that she will find her own place if needed (currently lives with us rent free!) I cannot afford to buy another house/flat in the area where I live and maintain the mortgage I currently have, I’m going to find it hard to even afford a single room in a house to rent.

My wife and I both earn about 30+K a year (I earn about 2K more than her, plus the RAF pension of about 10K, paid into our current account at the moment). One of our wages covers the mortgage and council tax and we live on the other wage.
Where do I stand in regards the house? Will I have to pay for my wife to stay in the house with our children? If so I don’t see how I can afford to live anywhere except the street! As from next September my wife will probably be in the house on her own anyway.

I know she will be entitled to half of my RAF pension and half of what little pension I have accrued from my present job. She on the other hand is on a final salary pension and has an inheritance (half of a largehouse on the death of her father some years ago but inherits only on the death of her mother who of course still lives in the house, I expect to inherit nothing in the future).
We have very little in the way of savings as every penny went on the house when we bought it, I have about 16K in an account plus I have put away 14K for our daughters ‘uni’ fees (that amount currently does not cover the cost but should by the time she has finished in 4 years time). My wife has savings of about 4K.

What do I do, where do I stand? I don’t want to deprive my daughters of anything and don’t want them to suffer in any way because of our marital breakdown but I don’t want to be living in a rented room of a house.
Any advice very welcome and it’s a help just putting this down in words as I have no one to talk to about it.

  • Specialdad
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27 Nov 07 #7845 by Specialdad
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The local office of Relate can give you the address of the local mediation office. They are a lot cheaper than solictors and you will be able to sort out your financial stuff by discussing the above through them.

Best of luck. B)

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27 Nov 07 #7849 by adenuff
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pretty much in the same boat as you mate,except for the kids going to uni.can,t bear the thought of living in a room in someone elses house.can,t offer much in the way of advice,still learning as i go along.also been threatened with"I,ll take you for all i can get"but the nice people on this site have said that won,t happen,just threats.go and pay for an hour with a sol,might put your mind at rest a bit.most of all stay calm.

  • HarrierGR9
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27 Nov 07 #7881 by HarrierGR9
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Thanks for the advice, just found out an hour ago thst she has an appointment to see a sol this Friday and she wants our youngest daughter to be there, that's exactly what I didn'twant to happen, I wasn't going to start any formal proceedings until she had finished her A levels, I didn't want any unpleasantness to affect her at this critical time in her studies as the outcome will affect the rest of her life i.e. which uni she gets into.

I'll try the relate people and see if they can help. Meanwhile, maybe I should be thinking about getting a sol?

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27 Nov 07 #7885 by Specialdad
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To save costs dont see a sol yet as the divorce nisi will take a few months to come through. Its only then that you should go to mediation and appoint a sol about the finances and then see if you can agree on the split of assets and liabilities.

Your wife will petition and pick up the costs of the divorce till then.

Stay in the FMH, dont discuss anything, dont argue and keep your head down till the nisi comes through. B)

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