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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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divorce or not..financial implications

  • meandamut
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29 Nov 07 #8056 by meandamut
Topic started by meandamut
HI all, long story but will try and condense.
Left ex nearly 3 years ago. We had no property of our own and I left with nothing except my dog & computer.
I'd found out that ex was having an affair with his business partner (a woman).
I moved away as he has been violent to me in the past and I'm now living in rented accommodation 15 miles away from where he lives.
Since I left he has got a low paid job and the business is now run by her. All the equipment for the business was bought by us when we were together, a couple of years before she came on the scene.
I'm unable to work at the minute as I have short term memory problems and depression.
I am struggling financially but hate the thought of asking him for help.
We paid a pension just for him while we were together (31 years) and he also has an inheritance coming his way of 60k.
He also does quite a few jobs 'on the side' so his financial position is comfortable.
Perhaps I'm just feeling bitter, he's having exotic holidays, a new car and always going out to concerts and having weekends away, while I'm struggling to even feed my dog.
I'm really asking for advice on whether I should go for divorce (and hope he doesn't find out where I live) and see what financial help I could get from him.
I've been frightened to start divorce proceedings as if he finds out what area I'm living in he would then know I'm living near to my sister.
Sorry this is long...I just need some advice.

TIA

  • loobyloo
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29 Nov 07 #8058 by loobyloo
Reply from loobyloo
I am no expert but if you are still married then you are surely entitled to some financial share of his/yours sure someone else will advise you really wll on here so hang around and welcome to wiki
looby

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29 Nov 07 #8065 by meandamut
Reply from meandamut
Hi Looby

Thanks for the welcome :)

  • mike62
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29 Nov 07 #8070 by mike62
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Jaykneepoo,
What an awful predicament you are in - Welcome to wikivorce. There are lots of people here who can and do offer great advice and support - use them!
I am no expert at all, but the very minimum you should be looking at is a 50:50 split of the marital asset pot. Your health problems create an additional need for your care and have an impact upon your employment prospects, all of which would be taken account of in coming to a settlement, whether through court or not.

I appreciate that you are feeling threatened by him. Have you spoken with the domestic violence unit of your local police? They may be in a position to offer you some appropriate advice on dealing with him. Have you thought of speaking with your local citizen's advice centre? They can offer some very good advice on the law and local services appropriate to your needs.
Have you considered approaching a solicitor that offers a free 30 min initial consultation? Many do offer these kinds of services. It would at least give you a clear idea of what needs to happen, and the possible outcomes.

You should not be living in abject poverty, and ultimately, the law will attempt to redress the balance to some extent.

Hope this is of some help and comfort to you - keep posting and more knowledgable people will respond to you.

Take care
Mike

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29 Nov 07 #8071 by Gilly
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Call me an old cynic..but he appears to be doing quite well in lowly paid job in a business he appears to have setup? And now his mistress runs it! Anyone smell fish here?
He has what must be a a decent pension fund given it was paid into for over thirty years...
You need to consult a solicitor - who, if you decide to go ahead will act as an intermediary between his solicitor and you. You may like to consider mediation as this can cut costs and reduce time it takes.. but that will involve face to face meetings with him wth a mediator present. Good luck.

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29 Nov 07 #8080 by meandamut
Reply from meandamut
Thank you Mike for the welcome and taking the time to reply.
I know I really need to speak to a solicior but it's a scarey prospect especially since my memory is so shocking.
I haven't spoken to the police as he stopped using violence a long time ago, he still scares me though as I know what he's capable of.
I also know it's time for me to find some courage from somewhere and that's really why I joined this site.

thanks again

J

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29 Nov 07 #8081 by meandamut
Reply from meandamut
Thanks Gilly, appreciate your reply.
Don't really want to face him but will be seeking more advice.

cheers

J

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