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Can I get my husband to leave the house?

  • mtoto
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01 Dec 07 #8214 by mtoto
Topic started by mtoto
My husband asked for a separation last month. I have just discovered (letter from his solicitor today) that he now wants a divorce based on his adultery.

My daughter aged 17 has just told me she has known about his affair for some time as she found some messages on his mobile phone and it was why she tried to kill herself earlier this year. He knows she had found out and has never said anything.

She is glad I know now. However she is very down again and he is refusing to leave the house.

Can I do anything to get him to leave or would it be best to take both the children and rent somewhere?

I feel really guilty and very naive that my daughter carried this burden herself

  • loobyloo
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01 Dec 07 #8216 by loobyloo
Reply from loobyloo
mtoto... what an awful time youve had.... i would suggest... as i foolishly didnt... get injunction and have him leave. He has obviously caused grave damage to your daughter.
I had 3 letters sent tomy x2b but he was not for budging... so i did ..... adecision i live to regret
this is not expert advice.. just experience and from the heart]
take care
looby

  • Fiona
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01 Dec 07 #8223 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
Sorry to hear your predicament. If his behaviour is actually causing real emotional harm as opposed to the family being understandably distressed it's possible to apply to court for an Occupation order to oust him from the house. However, it might be more helpful for your daughter if emotions and practicalities are kept separate and she can stabilize her relationship with both parents.

These days it's recognised that families interact in a circular way and everyone can be implicated in high levels of family conflict resulting in serious emotional problems for children and adolescents. I would as a priority approach your GP and ask about the suitability of family therapy or counselling. See;-

www.aft.org.uk/home/familytherapy.asp

  • mtoto
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03 Dec 07 #8304 by mtoto
Reply from mtoto
thanks for this. will talk to my duaghters therapist

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03 Dec 07 #8306 by mtoto
Reply from mtoto
He won't go to family therapy. have tried that.

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03 Dec 07 #8308 by Specialdad
Reply from Specialdad
Phew thank goodness I have taken a vow of celibacy. All this adultery and jumping in bed with different women really seems a complicated way of life!!!

Really sorry to hear about your daughter mtoto. Hope she gets better soon.

B)SD

  • mtoto
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03 Dec 07 #8310 by mtoto
Reply from mtoto
I hope she will. Now I know it has lifted a huge burden from both of the children. They wanted to protect me and keep the family together.

The thing that is hard for me is knowing they took on that burden and tried to make things work.

That there was a whole sub world going on when I stood up for their father and I now know why this made them so angry.

That he promised my duaghter that he would not leave and then did.

That having saved him from banruptcy by holding down three jobs, paid for his pension, holidays and hobbies he now wants half of everything whatever it means for all of us.

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