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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

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the pressure to accept less

  • escapy
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09 Dec 07 #8709 by escapy
Topic started by escapy
After recent meeting with barrister, am now fully aware of the impact a the financial settlement will have on s2bx. He will have enough left for very very comfortable lifestyle, but he still very very very angry i am asking for the recommended amount. In 25yrs first time have not given in, but feel shocking. how do i cope with the feeling of guilt and greed.

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09 Dec 07 #8710 by gone1
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Hiya esc. Its good you feel this way. Shows your not a total money grabbing bitch. So many are I am afraid to say. I dont know how you justify it.

But you could try this. Divide the amount you get by the years of service to this man. Do it weekly or monthly and see what it comes out to. Remember minimum wage is about £5.25 PH. Thats the going rate for a cleaner. Do add on's for cook, bottle washer and maid. Also add a fee for personal assistant and nurse. I reckon that comes to about £35 PH. I reckon a housewife works a 60 hour week. That about £2100 a week or about £110,000 a year. In todays market I think this is what its worth if you were doing it as a job. See how that stacks up against how you feel? Chris.

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09 Dec 07 #8711 by escapy
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Hello, not sure how to take your reply. my s2bx choose an extravigant life style to fund, thus works 7days a week and several evenings and nights. ,and he spent a lot of the money. Result 24/7 mum. Thus can get were his anger comes from as he saw it as his life. Do feel i worked very hard and given no choice, no pleasure and no reward. no money left for my needs, ps tried to keep working as well.not interested in more than recommended amount, but even that is unreasonable for stbx. you angry?

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09 Dec 07 #8713 by sexysadie
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I think that Chris is trying to point out that even on minimum wage if you add up what you have done over the years he owes you big time so you shouldn't feel guilty.

I don't think it is the guilt and the greed that is getting to you, but the shock of not giving in to him after so long - and he can play on that shock by implying that you are greedy and so should feel guilty. He has only been able to work such hours and have the play that it pays for because you have kept things going at home so you have contributed to his success and have a right to the benefits of it.

It is really hard to stand up for yourself after a long time doing what someone else says all the time, and working around his needs and wants, but it does get easier with time!

Sadie

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09 Dec 07 #8714 by escapy
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thankyou.

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09 Dec 07 #8717 by Shelia
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Your self worth is obviously very low. It is society and how it is organised that has paid him alot for his job and you as a housewife and mother nothing.

He could not have done as much or as well without you keeping everything ticking over at home. You have supported him in his role as breadwinner. You will now be disadvanted in the workplace because of the fact you were the one sacrificing a career by being his wife.

You are deserving and you are worth it!

Shelia

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09 Dec 07 #8719 by TMax
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:-)if I workd that into my case mike my X would be paying me back for centuries, cleaner, cook, bottle remover, fag butt picker upper, cash supplier, but its a thought I shall put forward in my case heheh it will probably get kicked into touch as being a man were supposed to be of stronger character "eveil laugh" heheheheh

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