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occupation order HELP ME !!!!

  • rkowski
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10 Dec 07 #8752 by rkowski
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hi my situation is as follows - 3 wks ago i find out my wife is having an affair - we have 2 kids i love them and i asked my wife to end teh affair ande we can work through the situation - she was having none of it - she said she has hated me and not fancied me for years , to cut a long story short no physical violence occured we rowed about it - thats it - since that night she and my 2 kids have resided at her mothers home - she has applied for an occupation order and non molestation order to get me out of the home - i have offered to leave on the grounds that i pay maintanace 20% net plus £150 to stop getting the home repo'd - she wants me to pay ther full mortgagae however and move in with my mum - to do this she had lied , i have evidence such as a mobile phone which proves her affair - text msgs inviting him to our house for sex etc , she has also lied about her current circumstances - ie the car she has is hers - it s not its in my name and i am fanancially liable for it, she says her mums home is a 1 bed bungalow - its not its a 2 bed, she says my children are sleeping on a laminate floor - they are not they are in bunk beds and their living room is carpeted - why wouldnt you sleep them in the living room if you had teh option of wood floor v carpet - the lies go on and on and my 2bx just wants the nice home to live in, me out of the way so she can continue her affair whilst i pay the full mortgage which equates to 20 % my net income plus half the mortgage -

Has anyone ever defended one of these non molestation orders etc etc - my fear is trhe court will side with mum and the kids no matter if i proove her to be a liar

\HELP ME\\\

surely my origional offer was more than adequate - i worked out on her full time wage benefits and my contribution that she can afford to live - will this be considered?

  • Fiona
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10 Dec 07 #8756 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
The lawyers will probably say differently, but IMHO the potential emotional and financial costs are horrific and makes it not worthwhile fighting NMO/occupation orders. I'm not saying it's fair or right but I would try to agree an undertaking and move on. Sorry.:(

See;- www.wikivorce.com/joomla/Divorce-Forum/C...ccupation-Order.html

  • attilladahun
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10 Dec 07 #8758 by attilladahun
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To get an occupation order she has to prove you have done something seriously wrong AND that you cannot still live under the same roof etc.

The Court will not be impressed if she has lied on oath.

There are 2 issues -

Non Molestation means pester
As there is no violence she would have to give evidence that you have threatened and pestered repeatedly

Many of these cases are determined with you giving a promise to the Court an undetaking not to molest (pester) on the basis of there is no adjudication of the facts ie you have not admitted to anything wrong AND no order as to costs.

If the app for Occpn order is weak you should not agree to go...they would have
to adduce serious evidence-at the first hrg there isn't usually enough time to deal with a full hrg only undertakings and often in a weak case the DJ may say to other side on the facts he/she may be unwilling to grant an "ouster".

It is possible if the house is big to have an occ order relating to part eg H not to approach W's bedroom etc.

Don't mix up the £ matters.

If the court were to make an Occ order (and only if) the Crt can make an order taht a certain proportion of the h/hld bills are paid by the other spouse often reduced £1 for £ if W goes to and gets a CSA Assessment.

If you are not using a solr you can put O/S under pressure by telling them an Occpn order has no merit on the facts but you are prepared to give an utkg without admission on basis of no order as to costs.

Without details of your finances no one can advise on sums/amts to be paid.

Has she even issued divorce proceedings?

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10 Dec 07 #8759 by attilladahun
Reply from attilladahun
To get an occupation order she has to prove you have done something seriously wrong AND that you cannot still live under the same roof etc.

The Court will not be impressed if she has lied on oath.

There are 2 issues -

Non Molestation means pester
As there is no violence she would have to give evidence that you have threatened and pestered repeatedly

Many of these cases are determined with you giving a promise to the Court an undetaking not to molest (pester) on the basis of there is no adjudication of the facts ie you have not admitted to anything wrong AND no order as to costs.

If the app for Occpn order is weak you should not agree to go...they would have
to adduce serious evidence-at the first hrg there isn't usually enough time to deal with a full hrg only undertakings and often in a weak case the DJ may say to other side on the facts he/she may be unwilling to grant an "ouster".

It is possible if the house is big to have an occ order relating to part eg H not to approach W's bedroom etc.

Don't mix up the £ matters.

If the court were to make an Occ order (and only if) the Crt can make an order taht a certain proportion of the h/hld bills are paid by the other spouse often reduced £1 for £ if W goes to and gets a CSA Assessment.

If you are not using a solr you can put O/S under pressure by telling them an Occpn order has no merit on the facts but you are prepared to give an utkg without admission on basis of no order as to costs.

Without details of your finances no one can advise on sums/amts to be paid.

Has she even issued divorce proceedings?

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10 Dec 07 #8760 by rkowski
Reply from rkowski
thanks - no divorce letter received yet
i get paid roughly £1300 net - mortgage is £641

i have offered to move out and pay her £450 per month but i want the house sold - i cant keep paying for 15 yrs with no chance of starting again - she has had the affair not me !

would evidence of the affair help my case - she has placed on the court papers that she denied the affair

  • Fiona
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12 Dec 07 #8920 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
When considering the division of assets the housing of the children is of primary importance, although it's not the only consideration. If it is at all possible the aim will be to keep the children in the FMH to avoid further disruption to them than is necessary so your wife's ability to takeover the mortgage could be the deciding factor here.

On your level of income in the long term you will only be expected to contribute child support, currently 20% of income minus deductions for any overnights the childrern stay with you.

  • andrewgarnettuk
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14 Dec 07 #9019 by andrewgarnettuk
Reply from andrewgarnettuk
There is a lot of advice here for you but i just want to say being through a similar thing that your better off without the bitch no matter what it costs, don't give in and don't loose contact with the kids. Is it me or do women always say "oh men are always the same they have affairs" no we are not all the same and women are equally to blame, who do men have affairs with ?? aliens !!!

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