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Christmas Present etiquette

  • Mrs Ingledew
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11 Dec 07 #8796 by Mrs Ingledew
Topic started by Mrs Ingledew
Any suggestions or experience here...

What do I do about presents for ex. I have the children does that mean I need to give themcash to get him presents? Or do I ask his partner to do it?

I don't think the latter would though.

I don't want to upset the kids - although I am sure he won't give them anything to give to me!

devil and the deep blue sea?

  • TMax
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11 Dec 07 #8798 by TMax
Reply from TMax
Think I would just let them give a card unless X can agree somthing with you

  • mike62
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11 Dec 07 #8803 by mike62
Reply from mike62
For the sake of the kids, I would be inclined to give them enough for a token gift - That way you take away his ammunition for badmouthing you to the kids later, and the kids see you as the super-mum that you really are.;)

My STBX has given our kids money to buy her presents. I will do the same for them to buy me presents.


  • Angel557
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11 Dec 07 #8805 by Angel557
Reply from Angel557
This is the 3rd xmas since i split with him and he has never once given the children anything to give to me , so i return the favour and give the kids nothing to give to him.Had the split not been like this and my ex was some what normal then i would have suggested both of us giving something to the children to give to us.Having said that i know for a fact my daughter has made me something dunno what it is but that for me is so much nicer than being bought a gift i ain't gonna use and with that added personnel touch.:)

  • sexysadie
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11 Dec 07 #8806 by sexysadie
Reply from sexysadie
I think it depends on the situation. The bottom line is that you don't want the kids to be in a situation in which they have nothing to give to a parent to whom they want to give something. So probably the best thing to do is to discuss it with them, unless they are very young. Some new partners will be pro-active in helping the kids with this, and if they do I would welcome it, but some won't get it as an issue, won't realise, or won't bother. Each situation is different.

If necessary, as Mike says, you give the kids money to get you a present - then they still get to do the choosing and they have something to give you. Enlist a friend to help, if necessary. As they get older you may need to give them a general sub to help them through Christmas in any case - once they are in their teens this is probably better than taking them out individually to buy presents for everyone else.

When it was my birthday I gave someone else some money to take the kids out to get me a present. For Christmas my mum is organising it. Grandparents can be very helpful in that respect, especially with little ones.


  • Mrs Ingledew
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11 Dec 07 #8808 by Mrs Ingledew
Reply from Mrs Ingledew
Thanks again.
Will discuss with the children themselves.

After all its only once a year!

  • Sgutt
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11 Dec 07 #8811 by Sgutt
Reply from Sgutt
So not only has she tried to ruin my life, lost me my dream home, daily contact with my children, left me in debt and spread lies against me and my family I am supposed to buy her a christmas present???

I dont think so some how......

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