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can I make the divorce worse

  • PippaF
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11 Dec 07 #8829 by PippaF
Topic started by PippaF
My partner is legally seperated. We have since met. Can I make the divorce for him worse for him if she cites adultary. Just wondering if we should lie low!

  • LittleMrMike
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11 Dec 07 #8831 by LittleMrMike
Reply from LittleMrMike
I would say :

1. Adultery is very unlikely to affect the financial settlement as such unless there are some aggravating factors, which in your case seems unlikely.
2. Your partner will be asked on the form E which he will have to fill in, whether he intends to re-marry or cohabit within the next 6 months. I advise you to answer this truthfully ! If anyone tells porkies and is found out, the order will probably be set aside complete with an order for costs.
3. A Court cannot make an order against the income or assets of a third party, but if you cohabit with your partner and he has to pay maintenance to his ex, there will, in all probability, be an assumption made that you will contribute towards the household expenses, and this may have the practical effect that a maintenance order might be higher than it otherwise would be if he were living alone.

  • gone1
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11 Dec 07 #8832 by gone1
Reply from gone1
Technically they are both committing adultery. He knows his wife more than anyone. Does he think she will cross petition? Thats the risk if you go for adultery. Sometimes its best to go for a lesser charge of Unreasonable Behavior to ensure that you dont piss her off to much. Cross petitions cost money and its to be avoided as it adds cost.

The name of the game is for her to sign and return the pettion. If you can acchive that with the minimum of fuss than thats good. It dont matter what he puts on the form. The divorce is all that matters. Chris

  • mike62
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11 Dec 07 #8833 by mike62
Reply from mike62
Pippa - take a look at this post on the grounds for divorce:


It really doesn't make a lot of difference other than the feelings of the individuals, as to whether they go for Adultery or Unreasonable Behaviour - in court terms, they are not really interested in who was at fault, other than that the petitioner may apply for the respondant to pay costs.

Feelings run high in the process, but if the marriage is over, it's over. You were not party to the original breakdown, though technically you are correct that if you are having a physical relationship, your partner is committing adultery.

Best of luck


  • Fiona
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12 Dec 07 #8860 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
I think if there are children are involved the least of the problems here are the legalities.

Through the trauma of separation divorcing couples tend to create a distorted insight of each other which they rationalise as true. This plus the dynamics of having a third or fourth party involved can inflame the situation for two reasons;

(i) new partners who may after hearing only one side support this view and take on the dispute as their own

(ii) the other spouse may not have had time to process the reality of divorce let alone the impact of their former spouse repartnering and, consciously or unconsciously, does everything possible to frustrate the process and delay the inevitable

This is the stuff highly conflicted divorces are made of and the repercussions can be felt for many years to the detriment of the emotional well being of any children caught in the crossfire.

No one can help when they meet someone and fall in love, but remaining low key ideally until the finances are settled and arrangements for any children are established is no bad thing in my book.

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