A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.

Feeling shafted!

  • dumped
  • dumped's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
11 Dec 07 #8841 by dumped
Topic started by dumped
Wife of eleven years (in relationship for 16 yrs) decided out of the blue to end our marriage and simply said I nonger love you and want you to leave?? Fast forward a few months, have now left and in another new relationship and moved in, former wife and myself own two houses, the one we shared which she is in and another which is rented out, latter has approx 80K equity and former (where she lives) has £155K equity. She has offered me the rented out house and a £5K payout and as a former divorce solicitor herself seems to be convinced I'd be worse off if I instructed solicitors and went the court route? She claims that as my business did not make enough money compared to her salary and that we both lived off her mothers inheritance that I have somehow sat back and failed to comit enough financially, even though we both benefitted by her inheritance and she even chose to quit her solicitors job and take on a part time lecturing job instead. Anyway, have told her to stuff her £5k and that I am willing to let the court decide, have I done the right thing or would I have been better off signing her drafted deed of separation and taking the £5K? She has told me that as I have subsequently left the matrimonial home that I have to hand her my keys even though the house is still in both names and even though I have still got most of my belongings there. I feel shafted and worked over by her legal knowledge and to this day do not feel I did anything to warrant the marriage ending but gave up fighting to stay in it when it was apparent she no longer loved or cared for me. Help, the stress is unbearable as it is not only affecting me but our young daughter and my new partner. Can she simply appy to the courts and do as she pleases or have I made a mistake by choosing to leave the house as the situation was unbearable!

  • markp
  • markp's Avatar
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
11 Dec 07 #8843 by markp
Reply from markp
hi motovelo
if i was you i would take what she says with a pinch of salt and talk to a solicitor of your own, as my wife walked out of our house to set up house with another bloke, the house is in my name only but i was told i must let her have access to the house untill the divorce is settled, also everything goes in pot and is shared out, also she would have to proof you did not commit enough financially as i have been told it is assumed both parties cotribute equally to the relationship

  • LittleMrMike
  • LittleMrMike's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
12 Dec 07 #8849 by LittleMrMike
Reply from LittleMrMike
I concur with this advice. It would be sensible to assemble all the information you have about your respective financial situations and ask for your lawyer's opinion as to whether the agreement can be accepted, bearing in mind the costs of going to Court and the fact that your wife is likely to have an inbuilt advantage due to her legal knowledge.

Mike 100468

  • attilladahun
  • attilladahun's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
12 Dec 07 #8852 by attilladahun
Reply from attilladahun
Don't feel intimidated

The reality is it is a mid length marriage
As the inheritance was recd and USED during the marge it is a contribution of W's but not enough to justify her getting 35K+ more than you
How much was the inheritance ?

If Inheritance is an issue you could argue she had failed to maximise her earning capacity by lecturing and leaving the high street.

You don't mention pension CETV's -what is the value of the pensions
Her inc your inc?

Her new partners fiances are relevant as a "resource" their combined income will enable her/them to raise the proper figure to buy you out

Sometimes people get paranoid about legal fees-on occasions this can be a justified concern BUT look at the wider picture

Even if it were to cost you say £4000 to get it sorted and you get another £30K its a no brainer.

You could go down the mediation route but I am concerned that you feel the negotiation would be difficult.

With respect she should know better is she really is an experianced divorce practitioner. The again (and this obviously doesn't apply to your ex many lecturers choose that route as they often fail to hack it in the high street and real world:) !!!

I believe her view is blinkered but taking a dispassionate view in cases is an art and we are all human.

The tactic here to us to save costs is:

1. Before Form A is filed and the formal applicn for finances to the Court urge W to comply with the pre action financial protocol.

Essentially both sides fill in form E to get details of their finances.
Agree with W that both of you will attach to the Form E a letter from a mtge provider of the max mtge you each can raise with your respective partners.

Then issue and ask Crt forfor 1hr for 1st Appointment

Most cases settle at the FDR

DJ will tell W that her approach and offer is too low and force the negotiations up to a sensible level.

Hope that helps

Best of luck

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11