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Worried about x2b !

  • robmcd
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13 Dec 07 #8998 by robmcd
Topic started by robmcd
I’m a bit worried about the s2bxw and would welcome any opinions.

We decided to split about 3 months ago after 10 years of marriage. I still live in the FMH at weekends (separate rooms) and tend to live away in the week, normally travelling back on Wednesday for s few hours to see the kids (3 & 6). We tend to try and avoid each other over the weekend.

We’re in the process of buying her a house so we can make a break which will hopefully be sorted in a few weeks. We intend to sell the FMH when some minor works are completed in the spring.

I now find that no matter what I say my x2b finds fault and reacts badly. She’ll then ignore me and accuse me of being nasty. Its like treading on egg-shells all the time when I’m in the same room as her. She tends to get very agitated with the children being children and seems to be massively stressed all the time. She’s fallen out with the cleaners (2 sets), the ironing lady and several of her friends in the last 2/3 months.

She’s being unreasonable about most things e.g. refuses to talk to me about what needs to be done to the house and says I’ll have to talk to the tradesman directly (even though she’ll be benefiting from any better price we get for the house).

I’m worried she may be having a breakdown (her father did around the same age – both Gemini) but daren’t bring the subject up in case it makes things worse (see egg-shells above).

Do you think its just her way of reacting to our current situation or have I got more to be worried about? After all, she will always be the mother to my children!


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14 Dec 07 #9009 by IKNOWNOW
Reply from IKNOWNOW
This is a hard one Rob. My x2b has a history of mental health problems, which I believe are present at this time, but when I raise my concerns with my solicitor she says there is little I can do. We did ask for a psych assessment which he originally offered to do, but since then he has said it isn't going to happen. It is difficult cos you want what is best for your children and they are still reliant on her to provide most of their care. Maybe you could approach your Health Visitor and just ask her to keep an eye on your kids and wife purely because you are concerned that anyone going through a divorce may find it difficult to cope with everything that is going on and that owing to the situation she is unlikely to listen to you. It is like everything in life, you have to have evidence before anyone will look at what you are saying; but by then it may be too late. Are you on good terms with any of her close friends and family, maybe you could put your concerns to them and see what they say; just approach it in a caring way not from the perspective of trying to score points (which I am sure is not your intention). I wish you luck; it is a difficult situation to be in!!!

  • WornOut
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14 Dec 07 #9010 by WornOut
Reply from WornOut
I don't seen anything unusual about her behaviour, given the current situation.

I worked with people who have severe and enduring mental health needs for a number of years and if you were describing the behaviour of one of my clients, I would not be concerned.

That being said, I think it would be wise to monitor the situation, as she could be heading for reactive depression or breakdown and require professional support.

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