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Confused!

  • mzhk29
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14 Dec 07 #9051 by mzhk29
Topic started by mzhk29
My Husband told me two months ago that he no longer loved me and wanted a separation, currently we are still living together (he is planning on buying me out once that happens i will move out). He has a new girlfriend now, but she is not the reason why we are separated drifted apart more than anything.. So my question is when can i file for divorce and on what grounds, I believe unreasonable behaviour but can i file for this while we are still living together and what can i use as examples as there was no abuse etc or anything like that. Plus i want to keep this as amicable as possible!? Help I am so confused.. I need to get on with my life, and i don't feel as though I can wait two years before we are divorced, I need this part of my life over ASAP so I can move on? :S

  • sexysadie
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14 Dec 07 #9052 by sexysadie
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If he has a new girlfriend and is open about that why don't you use adultery? It may not be the cause of your separation but it is happening so you might as well make use of it.

If you are living separate lives, sleeping separately, etc. you can file now, assuming you have been married a year.

Sadie

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14 Dec 07 #9053 by mzhk29
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The reason i don't want to use adultery is because 'he told me after we were separated so he doesn't see it as Adultery'. Plus if i did cite that as the reason i believe it would get very nasty ~(from his point) and I don't believe i could cope with that

  • JulesW
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14 Dec 07 #9054 by JulesW
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Well you can use adultery or unreasonable behaviour if you want a quick divorce. Separation will take two years I believe.

Have you talked to your husband about how fast he wants it to happen?

If he wants something less than 2 years then the above two are reasons to petition under. You don't have to mention her name in adultery (I believe) and he may be concerned that she will have to be named and it generally makes divorce a lot messier.

If unreasonable behaviour is used what would he be willing to agree as the reason?

Discuss it with him and he may see that his new girlfriend won't get dragged into court papers.

Good Luck

  • attilladahun
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14 Dec 07 #9060 by attilladahun
Reply from attilladahun
An example of unreasonable behaviour you could use:


[1] The Respondent, has made it plain to the Petitioner he believes the
marriage is at an end. The Respondent advised the Petitioner he had fallen out of love with her. The Petitioner, a sensitive person, has been caused upset and distress as the Respondent has decided to start a new relationship with another woman. The Petitioner believes this is disrespectful and embarrassing and feels that she is now looked upon by the Respondent as a mere housekeeper rather than a partner for life.

[2] The Respondent chooses the company of others especially his girlfriend to that of the Petitioner. As such the Respondent hardly communicates with the Petitioner who is left feeling lonely, isolated and marginalized.

[3] The Petitioner is accordingly left to attend to the physical housekeeping chores (as opposed to financial contributions) with the Respondent playing a minor role which is less than fair and reasonable.

[4] The Respondent has shown a lack of tenderness and affection for the Petitioner and has indicated an unwillingness to “work at” saving the marriage which displays a lack of commitment on his part.

[5] By reason of the Respondent’s rejection of the Petitioner she believes the marriage has broken down irretrievably.


Ideally you could amplify with more detailed examples if you wish. The allegations are fairly generalised and no too bitter or upsetting. By claiming you are a “sensitive” person the threshold test for unreasonable behaviour test is lower as the test is a SUBJECTIVE test i.e. is this behaviour of the Respondent unreasonable to this (sensitive) Petitioner.

As you are not alleging adultery it should not upset the District Judge that it is a behaviour petition masquerading as an adultery petition.

That should do the trick without causing WW III !!!

Hope that helps

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14 Dec 07 #9061 by attilladahun
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14 Dec 07 #9063 by mzhk29
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Thank you for the advice.. So does that mean for unreasonable behaviour providing he agrees of course. I could file for divorce straight away even though we are still living together? Or do we need to be separated (as in living arrangements) for a period of time before i can do this?

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