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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?
What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.
What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?
The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.
What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?
A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.
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changing the locks
15 Dec 07 #9071 by attilladahun
Reply from attilladahun
If the house is jointly owned technically you should not change the locks....but lets be practical about things.
Far better to do so and risk a minor rebuke from H or his solr when the benefits are peace of mind. In 30+ years of practice as a solicitor I have NEVER seen a client punished for such actions.
Cheaper than seeking an Occupation order
May I suggest though that before doing so you consider playing with a straight bat and invite H:
[a] to agree what contents he wants now (usually his personal possessions as the home should remain furnished so the C are not disrupted) so his need to come to the FMH is likely reduced
Politely point out that if he wants to visit to collect further items that are agreed, you will endeavour to co-operate and in return as a matter of courtesy could he give you at least 48 hrs notice say by text of his intention to call. Then if necessary you can have a relative or friend present to ensure there is no nonsense from H.
Abusers like to "control"; he may feel that by changing the locks you are controling him for once!! If he feels though you are treating him fairly by ensuring inconvenience is not caused hopefully he will not kick off.
Remember always send texts/letters/e mails to your spouse which are neutral, businesslike and do not cause offence. If ultimately he kicks off and you seek the discretionary orders of the Court for an Occupation and/or non molestation and the District Judge sees you have sent reasonable communications to your spouse to sort the issue out and what you are doing is proportionate - and his actions are unreasonable then you will be in a better position to advance your position/case and get the order/relief you seek.
Hope that helps Sadie
Far better to do so and risk a minor rebuke from H or his solr when the benefits are peace of mind. In 30+ years of practice as a solicitor I have NEVER seen a client punished for such actions.
Cheaper than seeking an Occupation order
May I suggest though that before doing so you consider playing with a straight bat and invite H:
[a] to agree what contents he wants now (usually his personal possessions as the home should remain furnished so the C are not disrupted) so his need to come to the FMH is likely reduced
Politely point out that if he wants to visit to collect further items that are agreed, you will endeavour to co-operate and in return as a matter of courtesy could he give you at least 48 hrs notice say by text of his intention to call. Then if necessary you can have a relative or friend present to ensure there is no nonsense from H.
Abusers like to "control"; he may feel that by changing the locks you are controling him for once!! If he feels though you are treating him fairly by ensuring inconvenience is not caused hopefully he will not kick off.
Remember always send texts/letters/e mails to your spouse which are neutral, businesslike and do not cause offence. If ultimately he kicks off and you seek the discretionary orders of the Court for an Occupation and/or non molestation and the District Judge sees you have sent reasonable communications to your spouse to sort the issue out and what you are doing is proportionate - and his actions are unreasonable then you will be in a better position to advance your position/case and get the order/relief you seek.
Hope that helps Sadie
15 Dec 07 #9072 by attilladahun
Reply from attilladahun
If the house is jointly owned technically you should not change the locks....but lets be practical about things.
Far better to do so and risk a minor rebuke from H or his solr when the benefits are peace of mind. In 30+ years of practice as a solicitor I have NEVER seen a client punished for such actions.
Cheaper than seeking an Occupation order
May I suggest though that before doing so you consider playing with a straight bat and invite H:
[a] to agree what contents he wants now (usually his personal possessions as the home should remain furnished so the C are not disrupted) so his need to come to the FMH is likely reduced
Politely point out that if he wants to visit to collect further items that are agreed, you will endeavour to co-operate and in return as a matter of courtesy could he give you at least 48 hrs notice say by text of his intention to call. Then if necessary you can have a relative or friend present to ensure there is no nonsense from H.
Abusers like to "control"; he may feel that by changing the locks you are controling him for once!! If he feels though you are treating him fairly by ensuring inconvenience is not caused hopefully he will not kick off.
Remember always send texts/letters/e mails to your spouse which are neutral, businesslike and do not cause offence. If ultimately he kicks off and you seek the discretionary orders of the Court for an Occupation and/or non molestation and the District Judge sees you have sent reasonable communications to your spouse to sort the issue out and what you are doing is proportionate - and his actions are unreasonable then you will be in a better position to advance your position/case and get the order/relief you seek.
Hope that helps Sadie
Far better to do so and risk a minor rebuke from H or his solr when the benefits are peace of mind. In 30+ years of practice as a solicitor I have NEVER seen a client punished for such actions.
Cheaper than seeking an Occupation order
May I suggest though that before doing so you consider playing with a straight bat and invite H:
[a] to agree what contents he wants now (usually his personal possessions as the home should remain furnished so the C are not disrupted) so his need to come to the FMH is likely reduced
Politely point out that if he wants to visit to collect further items that are agreed, you will endeavour to co-operate and in return as a matter of courtesy could he give you at least 48 hrs notice say by text of his intention to call. Then if necessary you can have a relative or friend present to ensure there is no nonsense from H.
Abusers like to "control"; he may feel that by changing the locks you are controling him for once!! If he feels though you are treating him fairly by ensuring inconvenience is not caused hopefully he will not kick off.
Remember always send texts/letters/e mails to your spouse which are neutral, businesslike and do not cause offence. If ultimately he kicks off and you seek the discretionary orders of the Court for an Occupation and/or non molestation and the District Judge sees you have sent reasonable communications to your spouse to sort the issue out and what you are doing is proportionate - and his actions are unreasonable then you will be in a better position to advance your position/case and get the order/relief you seek.
Hope that helps Sadie
15 Dec 07 #9073 by attilladahun
Reply from attilladahun
If the house is jointly owned technically you should not change the locks....but lets be practical about things.
Far better to do so and risk a minor rebuke from H or his solr when the benefits are peace of mind. In 30+ years of practice as a solicitor I have NEVER seen a client punished for such actions.
Cheaper than seeking an Occupation order
May I suggest though that before doing so you consider playing with a straight bat and invite H:
[a] to agree what contents he wants now (usually his personal possessions as the home should remain furnished so the C are not disrupted) so his need to come to the FMH is likely reduced
Politely point out that if he wants to visit to collect further items that are agreed, you will endeavour to co-operate and in return as a matter of courtesy could he give you at least 48 hrs notice say by text of his intention to call. Then if necessary you can have a relative or friend present to ensure there is no nonsense from H.
Abusers like to "control"; he may feel that by changing the locks you are controling him for once!! If he feels though you are treating him fairly by ensuring inconvenience is not caused hopefully he will not kick off.
Remember always send texts/letters/e mails to your spouse which are neutral, businesslike and do not cause offence. If ultimately he kicks off and you seek the discretionary orders of the Court for an Occupation and/or non molestation and the District Judge sees you have sent reasonable communications to your spouse to sort the issue out and what you are doing is proportionate - and his actions are unreasonable then you will be in a better position to advance your position/case and get the order/relief you seek.
Hope that helps Sadie
Far better to do so and risk a minor rebuke from H or his solr when the benefits are peace of mind. In 30+ years of practice as a solicitor I have NEVER seen a client punished for such actions.
Cheaper than seeking an Occupation order
May I suggest though that before doing so you consider playing with a straight bat and invite H:
[a] to agree what contents he wants now (usually his personal possessions as the home should remain furnished so the C are not disrupted) so his need to come to the FMH is likely reduced
Politely point out that if he wants to visit to collect further items that are agreed, you will endeavour to co-operate and in return as a matter of courtesy could he give you at least 48 hrs notice say by text of his intention to call. Then if necessary you can have a relative or friend present to ensure there is no nonsense from H.
Abusers like to "control"; he may feel that by changing the locks you are controling him for once!! If he feels though you are treating him fairly by ensuring inconvenience is not caused hopefully he will not kick off.
Remember always send texts/letters/e mails to your spouse which are neutral, businesslike and do not cause offence. If ultimately he kicks off and you seek the discretionary orders of the Court for an Occupation and/or non molestation and the District Judge sees you have sent reasonable communications to your spouse to sort the issue out and what you are doing is proportionate - and his actions are unreasonable then you will be in a better position to advance your position/case and get the order/relief you seek.
Hope that helps Sadie
15 Dec 07 #9074 by attilladahun
Reply from attilladahun
If the house is jointly owned technically you should not change the locks....but lets be practical about things.
Far better to do so and risk a minor rebuke from H or his solr when the benefits are peace of mind. In 30+ years of practice as a solicitor I have NEVER seen a client punished for such actions.
Cheaper than seeking an Occupation order
May I suggest though that before doing so you consider playing with a straight bat and invite H:
[a] to agree what contents he wants now (usually his personal possessions as the home should remain furnished so the C are not disrupted) so his need to come to the FMH is likely reduced
Politely point out that if he wants to visit to collect further items that are agreed, you will endeavour to co-operate and in return as a matter of courtesy could he give you at least 48 hrs notice say by text of his intention to call. Then if necessary you can have a relative or friend present to ensure there is no nonsense from H.
Abusers like to "control"; he may feel that by changing the locks you are controling him for once!! If he feels though you are treating him fairly by ensuring inconvenience is not caused hopefully he will not kick off.
Remember always send texts/letters/e mails to your spouse which are neutral, businesslike and do not cause offence. If ultimately he kicks off and you seek the discretionary orders of the Court for an Occupation and/or non molestation and the District Judge sees you have sent reasonable communications to your spouse to sort the issue out and what you are doing is proportionate - and his actions are unreasonable then you will be in a better position to advance your position/case and get the order/relief you seek.
Hope that helps Sadie
Far better to do so and risk a minor rebuke from H or his solr when the benefits are peace of mind. In 30+ years of practice as a solicitor I have NEVER seen a client punished for such actions.
Cheaper than seeking an Occupation order
May I suggest though that before doing so you consider playing with a straight bat and invite H:
[a] to agree what contents he wants now (usually his personal possessions as the home should remain furnished so the C are not disrupted) so his need to come to the FMH is likely reduced
Politely point out that if he wants to visit to collect further items that are agreed, you will endeavour to co-operate and in return as a matter of courtesy could he give you at least 48 hrs notice say by text of his intention to call. Then if necessary you can have a relative or friend present to ensure there is no nonsense from H.
Abusers like to "control"; he may feel that by changing the locks you are controling him for once!! If he feels though you are treating him fairly by ensuring inconvenience is not caused hopefully he will not kick off.
Remember always send texts/letters/e mails to your spouse which are neutral, businesslike and do not cause offence. If ultimately he kicks off and you seek the discretionary orders of the Court for an Occupation and/or non molestation and the District Judge sees you have sent reasonable communications to your spouse to sort the issue out and what you are doing is proportionate - and his actions are unreasonable then you will be in a better position to advance your position/case and get the order/relief you seek.
Hope that helps Sadie
15 Dec 07 #9079 by scottishlady
Reply from scottishlady
Sadie....
If it's of any help to you.... my sol told me that although the 'former matrimonial home' is in my STBX's name only... she doubted whether there would be a court/judge that would condemn me if I changed the locks on the 'home' after he walked away....
I therefore went ahead and did so..... and although my STBX was somewhat cheesed off at the fact (when he tried to enter the house while I was out) I have had no repercussions (so far) re my actions....
Kindest Regards
SL
If it's of any help to you.... my sol told me that although the 'former matrimonial home' is in my STBX's name only... she doubted whether there would be a court/judge that would condemn me if I changed the locks on the 'home' after he walked away....
I therefore went ahead and did so..... and although my STBX was somewhat cheesed off at the fact (when he tried to enter the house while I was out) I have had no repercussions (so far) re my actions....
Kindest Regards
SL
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